Cook: Nothing says summertime like free diabetes

Hey, kids in Hixson, hope you’re thirsty, because the folks at Kangaroo Express gas stations have a special gift for you.

Your very own 20-ounce refillable Roo Cup!

And it’s totally free! Other than the long-term costs of tooth decay, heart disease and obesity, it won’t cost you a thing!

“Seven hundred students will receive a free 2015 Roo Cup,” Kangaroo officials announced earlier this week.

It happens this Friday night, at the PTA fundraiser for Ganns Middle Valley Elementary. Kangaroo will be there handing out free Roo Cups. Kids, just think: all summer, for only 25 cents, you can gulp down 20 ounces of your favorite soft drink and all the goodness it contains.

Such as high-fructose corn syrup.

Artificial colors.

Preservatives.

Caffeine.

Aspartame.

All thanks to your free Roo Cup.

“The ‘official’ cup of summertime,” Kangaroo officials said.

And nothing says summertime like free diabetes.

“Individuals who drink one to two sugar-sweetened beverages per day have a 26 percent higher risk for developing Type 2 diabetes,” claim the makers of “Fed Up,” a documentary about childhood obesity. “One soda a day increases a child’s chance of obesity by 60 percent.”

I know I’m being smarmy and sarcastic, neither of which are very appealing qualities, but I’m fed up, too. Our kids are suffering from an epidemic of obesity, and sugary drinks are perhaps the largest part of the problem.

“Liquid candy,” wrote Dr. Michael Jacobson with the Center for Science in the Public Interest.

Kangaroo shouldn’t hand out free Roo Cups any more than it should hand out menthols and lead paint chips, especially here in Tennessee, where our childhood obesity rates are among the worst in America. Part of this comes from vulture-capitalism’s indoctrination of junk and fast food into nearly every aspect of their lives. Try this experiment: go for an entire day without your kids seeing any ads for some kind of sweetened drink.

“It’s everywhere,” Dr. Joani Jack said.

Jack is the director of Erlanger hospital’s Childhood Healthy Eating and Active Living Center, a new clinic that works in holistic and family-centric ways to combat our growing obesity epidemic. During her slideshow presentations, she shows an image of a 6-year-old girl who regularly drank sugary drinks.

The next slide shows her six months later, with all sweet drinks cut out of her diet.

“She’s completely normalized,” Jack said.

Jack isn’t a scold; she understands why Kangaroo would want to reward kids. It’s just the wrong kind of reward.

“We love that you want to reward kids, but we need to find non-food ways to reward them,” she said. “When your child is thirsty, give them water. If you’re going to give prizes to kids, it’s got to be something other than a 20-ounce soft drink.”

Here’s the messy, sticky part: Kangaroo does reward Hixson kids in healthy ways by funding programs at Ganns that may otherwise go unfunded. Principal Allyson DeYong said Kangaroo partners with her school through “spirit pumps” — when folks fill up their gas tanks at certain Kangaroo pumps, the gas station gives a portion of the sales back to the school.

“I have appreciated the partnership we’ve had with them,” she said. “They give back to our school.”

Like too many of our public school principals, DeYong, who runs a remarkable school, does a lot with a little. As long as our schools remain sickly underfunded, principals have to turn to outside sources, or community partners.

It brings up a serious question: How far should we go to fund our schools? Should we compromise our values by accepting money from organizations that also sell products damaging to our kids?

It also brings up a serious criticism. If our schools were fully and appropriately funded — looking at you, Hamilton County Commission — then outside funding would not be an issue.

Until that day comes, kids need our extra support. Remember: Ganns’ fundraiser is Friday, starting at 4 p.m. It’ll be a wonderful evening, with inflatables, a silent auction, karate demonstrations, burgers on the grill.

Maybe, too, some cold ice water.

Contact David Cook at dcook@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6329. Follow him on Facebook at DavidCookTFP.