Lisa Denton and Barry Courter
LISA DENTON: Barry, I am happy to report that I have determined our elf names – it seems only natural that we should have them now that December is here.
According to one chart I found online, I’m Tinker Sparkley-Toes and you are Nipper Pickle-Pants. We also could go for Reindeer Jolly-Drawers for me and Jingle Sugarplum-Fairy for you.
BARRY COURTER: That’s already my porn name.
LISA: OK. That’s so festive.
BARRY: That’s me.
LISA: Anyway, names are based on a very exact science – an internet chart. Or, more accurately, charts, which explains why there’s a choice of aliases. Basically, there are words and phrases on the chart that correspond to the first letter of your first name and the month you were born. Depending on the chart, an Ann born in January would be Merry Jingle-Drawers or a James born in February would be Puddin’ Floppy-Feet.
There’s also a Drunken Elf Name chart, which makes me Woozy Partyman and you Kegger Burpsalot.
BARRY: I can live with that.
This weekend Jazzanooga will celebrate the one-year anniversary of being an actual place. Originally, Shane Morrow conceived of Jazzanooga as being a series of concerts and events designed to celebrate our city’s music and jazz history, but it has become a standalone building on M.L. King Boulevard where all types of art is created by all kinds of people.
LISA: They do stay busy at Jazzanooga. They have spoken-word performances, Wine Down Wednesday gatherings, Jam & Soul brunches and a Nightcap series, named for one of the old night spots on the Big 9, as the boulevard was called back in its heyday.
This week alone, they’ll have Neshawn Calloway’s Center for Creative Arts student performers, Jermaine Purifory, Robin Grant and Nancy Westmoreland at various events.
BARRY: And let’s give a shout-out to the Harry Potter Magical Holiday Ball on Friday at Barnes & Noble. It’s being hosted by Gene Lovin. Glad to see him back after his heart attack.
LISA: This is looking to be a big deal. Store spokesman Kelly Flemings says more than 550 people showed up for the Hogwarts Masquerade Ball on Halloween weekend, and they’re expecting a similar crowd for this.
Did you know there are also internet sites where you can determine which House of Hogwarts you belong in? Remember from the books (and movies) how the Sorting Hat placed each student in one of the four houses? You can take a quiz to see if you’d be a Gryffindor (courageous and chivalrous), a Hufflepuff (hard-working and loyal), Ravenclaw (witty and wise) or Slytherin (cunning and ambitious).
My quiz results said Ravenclaw, which is surprising since most of my knowledge seems to come from novelty internet sites.
BARRY: Wow, I also got Ravenclaw. Maybe the hat does know something. That, or one of us cheated.
LISA: We also need to mention a couple of benefit concerts. A Caring Country Christmas for Kids is Tuesday at the Princess Theatre in South Pittsburg, and US101’s Acoustic Christmas for Kids is Thursday at Track 29.
Marty Raybon of Shenandoah will headline the South Pittsburg show, which benefits the Marion County Sheriff’s Department’s Christmas for Kids fund. Granger Smith will do the T29 show, with proceeds going to the Forgotten Child Fund. That one usually sells out.
BARRY: And, of course, there are the usual Christmas-related shows and events, and Ice on the Landing continues at the Choo Choo. Have a good week, Woozy. That might stick.
Get event details every Thursday in Chattanooga Now or online anytime at www.ChattanoogaNow.com.
Contact Barry Courter at bcourter@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6354. Contact Lisa Denton at ldenton@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6281.