Punchlines

Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

From Aug. 22-23:› Last night President Trump spoke at a rally in Arizona and really fired up his supporters. He opened his speech by saying, “Our movement is a movement built on love.” In other words, he started with his best joke. — Conan O’Brien› There were a lot of protesters at a rally today in Phoenix attended by President Trump and Vice President Pence. Things got awkward when it turned out that the “Impeach Trump” chants were being led by Mike Pence. — Conan O’Brien› Before announcing his decision on Afghanistan, President Trump was said to have made a ‘rigorous’ review of the issue. Yes, Trump said, “I must have read at least four tweets about it!” — Conan O’Brien› In his speech on Afghanistan, President Trump said, “Attack we will.” Then Trump introduced his new military strategist: General Mad Dog Yoda. — Conan O’Brien› Last night President Trump said of his critics, “I went to better schools than they did. I was a better student than they were. I live in a bigger, more beautiful apartment. And I live in the White House, too.” Then someone handed Trump a fidget spinner and he quieted right down. — Conan O’Brien› It is being reported that President Trump is no longer speaking to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. Upon hearing this, Melania went to McConnell and said, “Teach me, Master.” — Conan O’Brien› In her new book, Hillary Clinton calls Donald Trump a “creep” who “made her skin crawl.” When he heard, Trump smiled and said, “I still got it.” — Conan O’BrienSource: www.newsmax.com