Despite my previous service with the Air Force – four-plus years at Hurlburt Field, just west of Fort Walton Beach – I am compelled to file for conscientious objector status in the “war on Christmas.” I do not make this decision lightly; live and let live, I always say. But there comes a time when one must take a stand against an issue so inane it deserves recognition as the purest form of political deceit.
That deceit goes hand-in-hand with cynicism, producing a combination that fools people into thinking something evil, or at least ominous, is going on. For several years now, thanks to the Donald Trump amen corner at Fox News, it has functioned as a campaign that the “war on Christmas” generals hope will draw voters’ attention away from actual issues.
Every quasi-religious effort needs a scriptural battle plan, so what better way to further the conspiracy than with book-length “proof?” One example is “The War on Christmas: How the Liberals Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday is Worse than You Thought.”
I haven’t read the book because it’s absurd to believe a political subset could actually “ban” Christmas. Besides, the “war on Christmas” conspiracy theorists probably also believe that liberals allegedly hate Christmas, so what’s the point?
It is hard to determine the half-life of the “war on Christmas” campaign but its lack of credibility suggests it will ultimately collapse of its own weight. After all, it is hard to maintain a baffling battle plan when so many shoppers and store clerks are actually wishing each other “Merry Christmas.”
But what happens when Christmas is not banned – a safe prediction if there ever was one? Some believers may be angry for having been played for a fool by embracing the political/spiritual version of three-card monte. Maybe others will be embarrassed that they actually fell for a “fake prediction.”
Many “war on Christmas” veterans may be among those who for years have bemoaned the secularization of Christmas, what with Santa Claus, crowded shopping malls and all the seasonal paraphernalia of trees, wreaths and eggnog. Their concern has merit.
But it is also troubling that Christmas has now become politicized, at least in some circles.
At last year’s Values Voter Summit, Donald Trump launched the first rhetorical salvo in the war by promising that “we are going to start saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again.” His promise was by any definition a cynical plan to draft one of Christianity’s spiritual celebrations into his campaign strategy. Unfortunately for the WOC battalions, they must acknowledge a troublesome reality: The phrase is alive and well.
If they’re honest, enlistees in the “war on Christmas” campaign surely know that Trump hijacked the phrase for his political campaign. Need proof? Look no further than a Yahoo transcript of his meeting last year with several hundred evangelicals. At one point he relieved himself of this rambling argument:
“When I get elected, people are going to say ‘Merry Christmas’ again. You don’t say it now. You go into the big department stores, they don’t have Merry Christmas up. They have “Happy Holidays” and now even that is coming under assault. You can’t say ‘Happy Holidays.’ We’re becoming so politically correct that we can’t function as a country anymore. We’re going to be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again, and we’re going to be saying a lot of other things.” Yowza.
Historically, dictators have not prevailed just against Christmas; they’ve done the same to other faiths’ sacred celebrations. Those who attended last year’s meeting should remember that their faith is always susceptible to “friendly” politicians. Skepticism is often much more valuable than obsequiousness.
Michael Loftin is a former opinion editor of The Chattanooga Times.