Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: I have been married for 18 years and have two wonderful kids, ages 14 and 12. Ten months ago, my husband said to me, “I told you I would divorce you if you ever got fat.” I was shocked! Yes, I have gained some weight over the years, but at 5 feet 5 inches tall and 150 pounds, I was not exactly obese.
I was frightened by what he said, so I took off 25 pounds. He didn’t appear to notice, so I asked him, “Now what do you think?” He said, “You have no muscle tone”!
Abby, nothing I do is good enough. I work part-time and take care of our kids and the house. I go out of my way to cook and bake interesting things for them. Any appreciation? His praise is, “Not bad.”
Abby, what should I do? – BIGGEST LOSER IN NEW YORK
DEAR “LOSER”: Before I answer your question, I should point out that the way some abusers maintain control is by withholding approval, love, money, etc.