David MartinOver the weekend my wife and I watched “The Founder,” a 2016 movie based on the story of how Ray Kroc launched the multibillion-dollar McDonald’s fast food franchise.
Before Kroc swindles the original McDonald brothers out of the business and steals the wife of one of his earliest franchisees, he actually comes across as a likable fellow – a down-on-his-luck traveling salesman who eventually wills his way to massive success.
One of the most endearing scenes is when Kroc, who in his pre-McDonald’s years was known as a bit of a low-rent huckster, is touting the Speedee Service System – which eventually revolutionized the restaurant world – to some friends over dinner. As they rolled their eyes at Kroc’s newest “great idea,” Kroc’s at-the-time wife chimes in, “this is different.”
It’s a turning point in the movie. She had his back, she was on his team and the wind that filled his sails from that vote of confidence powered the McDonald’s juggernaut, which also, unfortunately, came at the expense of numerous individuals – including a couple of wives.
Pondering over that scene later in the evening, I lamented to my wife that we, as a society, do a pretty pathetic job highlighting the incredible benefits of a supportive spouse. Overall, marriage gets a pretty lame treatment. It’s portrayed as either some sort of fairy-tale ending to a romantic comedy, or a total drag that all too often prevents individuals from reaching their fullest potential.
The latter does happen frequently, but marriage can also be the most empowering experience imaginable if approached as a team sport. We don’t talk about that enough.
From my own experience, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I am living the fullest life I ever have because of my wife. I’m in better physical, emotional and spiritual shape thanks to her. And the best thing that ever happened to David Martin’s career? It’s not David Martin. Not even close. It’s Natalie Roy Martin, hands down.
I do pray I’ve been able to help her in the same way.
When people talk about marriage, an ever-popular topic is roles – who’s responsible for what. Earlier this year, the University of Texas’ Council on Contemporary Families unveiled some surprising findings on that front, as a growing number of younger millennials prefer what could be referred to as “traditional” household roles.
The researchers themselves were struck by survey responses, and of course, their results became the focus of a deluge of online articles (Google “millennial gender roles” to see), each trying to explain this unimaginable trend. Perplexed, one of the study authors told Time that younger Americans seem to think “that men and women are equal but they’re essentially and inherently different.”
I know. Stop the presses.
That revelation aside, there appears to be another development underfoot, this one detailed in a different Time article from last year. In it, historian Stephanie Coontz writes of a fundamental marriage perception shift – from being considered a supplementary bond where two people make up for each other’s weaknesses to a more complementary association based on and boosting shared interests and emotions.
In such a scenario, two people can propel their lives to unimaginable heights. Why we’re not lauding this reality more in popular culture, I’ll never understand. Instead, marriage is frequently presented as a buzzkill.
Americans love learning about ways to get ahead and the secrets to success. Though there are plenty of ways for a person to better their circumstances, a path that deserves more celebration is a healthy marriage.
Too bad it would be treated as a “secret” to success.
We can change that, though.
Contact David Allen Martin at davidallenmartin423@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @DMart423.