Punchlines

Late Night Laughs

Around the White House› It’s come out that 83-year-old Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s daily workout routine includes push-ups, planks and squats. Apparently she began seriously taking care of her health last Nov. 9th. — Conan O’Brien› Today, Donald Trump issued a new travel ban that is less restrictive than his first one. This one bans some Muslims and all women who haven’t been able to lose the baby weight. — Conan O’Brien› This weekend, President Trump tweeted that President Obama tapped his phones at Trump Tower. Trump said it was particularly upsetting because he’s a private man who likes to keep his thoughts to himself. — Conan O’Brien› It’s come out that Trump Administration Press Secretary Sean Spicer was the White House Easter Bunny in the early 2000s. Or as Spicer calls it, “back when I had some dignity.” — Conan O’Brien› Attorney General Jeff Sessions is in trouble because he was caught lying under oath about contacting the Russians during the election. When asked if the allegations were true, Sessions said, “Absolutely nyet.” — Conan O’Brien› Attorney General Jeff Sessions held a press conference today and recused himself from any Department of Justice investigations into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia. Said Trump, “May I also be recused?” — Seth Meyers› Attorney General Jeff Sessions recused himself from any investigations into Trump’s ties with Russia. But he still claims he did not lie under oath. Then he said, “I’m not under oath right now, am I?” — Jimmy FallonSource: www.newsmax.com