Kennedy: Holy carp! Here come those crazy fish

Silver carp jumping in the Fox River, a tributary off the Illinois River. Silver carp are heading toward Chattanooga, threatening the region's renowned freshwater ecosystem (Contributed Photo: Ryan Hagerty, USFWS).

If you saw Monday's newspaper, you probably noticed this jaw-dropping Page 1 headline: "Invasive carp heading toward Chattanooga."

Yikes! Head to the hills.

Not since Gen. Sherman's march to the sea has an invading force seemed so ominous - and inevitable.

With the story was a picture taken on the Illinois River of about 100 crazed carp jumping out of the water and flopping all over creation. The scene looks like a mosh pit at a Limp Bizkit concert.

These are some freaky fish, and they are coming to our town by way of the Tennessee River. Any day, this swirling vortex of fish flesh could come flipping and flopping around Moccasin Bend like a school of piranha in search of a wounded wildebeest.

I, for one, think we need to start a carp offensive.