Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for years. We married young, and I’m the only man she has been with. Although we seem to have a good sex life, she’s now saying she wants more. She wants to experiment and is suggesting we try a swinging lifestyle – a threesome or foursome – swapping partners.
I think she wants to experience a stronger, more physically attractive man. I’m not against it. I fantasize about watching her with another man, and it could be exciting to make love with other women. However, my question to you and your readers is, does this lifestyle enhance a marriage or does it usually lead to severe marriage issues? – CONSIDERING IT IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CONSIDERING IT: Depending upon the people involved, the swinging lifestyle can either enhance or destroy a marriage. If the couple is honest with each other from the beginning, establishes firm ground rules and adheres to them, it won’t hurt the marriage. However, if one partner feels coerced into participating, it can be destructive, which is why I do not recommend it.
DEAR ABBY: One of my very close friends self-harms. She constantly slits her wrists and forearms. I desperately want her to stop, but I don’t know how to convince her not to hurt herself.
I would talk to her parents about it, but she doesn’t feel comfortable around her dad, and her mom is part of the reason she self-harms. She had a therapist she could talk to, but not anymore.