Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: Many years ago, I had an affair with a married man. We eventually married and have had a long, happy life together. It was love at first sight for me. Both of us had children with our former spouses.
Since no one knows about our affair, I’m wondering what I should do with our love letters and the poems we wrote to each other over those five years. Neither of us wants to hurt our children or grandchildren nor be remembered negatively after our deaths. It would certainly shock them all. However, there is much information in these letters that might give insight into why we both wanted divorces so we could marry. We are getting along in years, so please advise. – WONDERING IN TEXAS
DEAR WONDERING: I see nothing to be gained by sharing these letters and poems. You and your husband have had a long and happy union. Because nobody knows about the affair and no questions have been raised about your earlier marriages, I see nothing positive about disclosing that information after your death.
DEAR ABBY: I work in a branch of a large company that puts out a candy dish for our customers. A woman from another building (different company not related to us) often cuts through our office to get to the main street and other businesses. When she comes through, she ransacks our candy dishes, looking for a couple of specific types of candy. It happens on a daily basis! We even gave her a “Christmas gift” hoping to satisfy her candy cravings. She brought the gift container back to us (empty) for next Christmas! How do we stop this behavior without being rude? – SWEET TOOTH IN THE EAST
DEAR SWEET TOOTH: It is not rude to draw the line when someone crosses it. The next time the woman raids the candy dish, the person nearest to it should tell her plainly it is intended for customers only! As for that candy container she returned, toss it. Giving her a present for “stealing” was a mistake, so don’t perpetuate it.