DEAR ABBY: I have been communicating with this woman that I work with. She is currently seeing a guy she’s been with for about four years. We have a clear connection and primal attraction, and have both discussed our feelings with each other. Her man works for the same company but in a different building than we do. It’s clear he doesn’t know how to elevate himself to her level.
She contacts me when she wants and flirts, but it’s always at her convenience and not mine. We have “known” each other for about a year and a half now, and she claims she cares for me. How should I move this situation forward? – THREE’S A CROWD IN NEW YORK
DEAR CROWD: Try to control your libido and allow me to offer a flash of insight. This woman likes things just the way they are. You may not think her boyfriend is good enough for her and can’t “elevate himself to her level,” but the woman you have placed on this pedestal is someone who enjoys sneaking behind the back of someone she’s been involved with for four years and discusses an exit strategy with a co-worker. Open your eyes. She’s not seriously interested in you. She’s enjoying a flirtation on her own terms, period. What makes you think you are the only one she does this with?
DEAR ABBY: I have been overweight for half of my life. After many diets, exercises, weight loss and eventually gaining it all back, I’m planning to have gastric sleeve surgery within the next two months, or when my surgeon can place me on his schedule.
I have gone through all of the required office visits with my doctor, but haven’t yet made a final decision because I’m so nervous about it. I have not mentioned this to my adult children or my parents. My parents are elderly and probably would hate it and worry, so I don’t want them to know. As for my children, they probably won’t like it either.