“I DREAM HE TALKS TO ME: A MEMOIR OF LEARNING HOW TO LISTEN” by Allison Moorer (Hachette Books, 240 pages, $28).
“Autism is just as much a part of my son as his blue eyes and long fingers,” writes Nashville recording artist Allison Moorer in her second memoir, “I Dream He Talks to Me.” “Autism is here with us, here in him, and it isn’t going anywhere.”
Just before turning 2, John Henry Earle – Moorer’s son with her ex-husband, singer/songwriter Steve Earle – was diagnosed with autism, later revealed to be Level 3, the most severe degree of disability. Now 10 years old, John Henry is nonverbal with extreme sensory issues. He is prone to violent behavior such as head-butting, scratching and hair-pulling, as well as screaming fits, toileting issues and problems sleeping.
In sometimes excruciating detail, Moorer describes the reality of life with a profoundly autistic child: the doctors, the therapists, the constant vigilance, the public embarrassment, the private shame, the loneliness, the anger, the fear – the physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. But despite all John Henry’s special needs, his mother is quick to point out his special gifts, including his affinity for music, his generally sweet nature and especially “the blinding brightness – the life – in his face and behind his eyes.”
“I Dream He Talks to Me” includes Moorer’s poetry, letters and dreams, as well as chapter topics such as “A Guide To Getting Through,” which provides 18 sanity-protecting rules for parents. Moorer’s advice ranges from how to deflect the judgment of others when in public to how to navigate when well-meaning people suggest “cures” that are anything but.