DEAR ABBY: I recently backed out of an adoption. I feel terrible about it. How can I mentally and emotionally get over this? My baby girl is 4 months old now, and my guilt is getting worse. I backed out three days before she was born.
The couple I had chosen turned out to be unprofessional and emotionally unstable. They not only caused me several problems but also my job, which I loved. During the four months I knew them, they treated me poorly, and I realized it was better for my little one not to go through with the adoption.
They are now trying to make me out to be a bad person who used them financially – something I really did not. I’m glad now that I kept my daughter. So why do I keep feeling so bad about my decision? – GUILT-RIDDEN IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR GUILT-RIDDEN: If I had to guess the reason, I would say it may be because you know your last-minute change of mind caused this couple pain. A way to assuage your guilt might be to work out a payment plan so they are not out the money they spent. (The lawyer or agency that arranged the adoption may be able to guide you.)
DEAR ABBY: I have two sisters. We were very close until our mother passed away two years ago. In her trust, the proceeds from the sale of her house were to be divided among the three of us. Only one sister has children. (They are grown.) My two sisters have decided we should split the proceeds from Mom’s house (about $800,000) five ways to include the adult children. Their mother has threatened to “disown me” if I don’t go along with the five-way split.