I wrote a column recently in defense of civility in politics. I didn’t argue that you have to be best friends with the people you disagree with, just that you shouldn’t go on Facebook to gloat and crow over the deaths of anti-vaxxers who succumbed to COVID. It seemed pretty obvious to me that saying “screw you” to the dead and their families wouldn’t help get anyone vaccinated or lower the level of vitriol in the country.
But, boy, the blowback was strong. People seemed to think I was a fool, playing by old rules. Civility, they said, is a quaint remnant of a genteel past. Now we’re at war with our political enemies. They don’t play by the rules, and only a sucker would seek common ground or civil relations with such maniacs.
Some of the arguments gave me pause about my position. I do believe Donald Trump is a dangerous demagogue who can’t be dealt with in a rational, civil way, as if he were Dwight Eisenhower.
But at the same time, the country cannot move forward if Americans declare war on each other and assume communication is impossible.
Maybe “civility” is a misleading word for what I’m trying to describe. I don’t honestly care if people politely doff their hats at each other or shake hands cordially or if politicians call their adversaries on the other side of the aisle “my distinguished colleague.”