DEAR ABBY: My grandson passed away three months before his daughter was born. When she was 6 months old, her mom moved in with her new boyfriend. We were allowed visits for a couple of years, but then that stopped, so we had to take the mom to court to get visitation again.
We learned our visits had been stopped because we referred to her boyfriend by his name instead of “Daddy.” We are not allowed to tell our grandchild who her father is. At what age should a child be told the truth, and how is all this going to affect my granddaughter? – TRUTH TELLER IN THE SOUTH
DEAR TRUTH TELLER: Your former daughter-in-law may prefer her little one call her boyfriend “Daddy” because the man is the only father figure your granddaughter has ever known. The time for her to be told all the facts would be when she’s old enough to understand the information and her mother chooses to tell her about her biological father. The truth should not negatively affect her.
DEAR ABBY: How do you deal with a relative whose child is autistic when they come for holiday dinners and let their child climb on the furniture like it’s a playground and walk around the house eating and touching everything with soiled hands?
These parents constantly post about “treating him like a normal child,” but they don’t treat him normal with expectations. I’m tired of having to constantly supervise him and feel intimidated about saying things like, “Please don’t climb on the furniture, sit at the table when you eat, wash your hands, please,” etc. What’s your advice? – TENTATIVE IN FLORIDA