DEAR ABBY: My adult granddaughter, “Lola,” is in a two-year relationship with a wonderful young man and has been anticipating a proposal. During a conversation, he mentioned he would not propose to her until he has introduced her to his parents, who live in another state.
He says his mother wants him to marry a woman who has never been married or divorced and who has not had a child. Lola is divorced (due to her ex-husband’s infidelity) and has a young son. This seems to her to be a no-win situation if he won’t propose until she’s met his parents, but he lacks the courage to introduce her to them. What is my granddaughter to do? She’s so unhappy and disappointed. – IMPOSSIBLE IN TEXAS
DEAR IMPOSSIBLE: Your granddaughter’s boyfriend is a mama’s boy. The decision of whom to marry should be his, not his mother’s. If, after two years, he cannot summon up the courage to introduce her proudly to his parents, she should quit wasting her time with him because this romance will go no further than it already has.
DEAR ABBY: I cannot seem to get over the loss of my first husband decades ago. I still think of him often. I am still grieving our divorce and his subsequent marriage to someone I’d known for many years. They have happily gone on with their lives.
I am a widow now. My second husband was like me, dumped by his first wife, and we cobbled a life together as best we could. My problem is that I can’t stop longing for my first husband. Logically, I know we’ll never be together, even if he were free from his marriage to the “other woman.”