Hello America, try not to get shot today.
That’s it; that’s the lede.
In what’s obviously become the safest country in the world so long as you’re invested in this guns-make-us-safer psychosis, you can now get shot for the way you make a sandwich.
Or did you miss that story in the wrap-up of the overnight carnage?
Man walks into Subway sandwich shop in Atlanta Sunday night and places his order, which includes one fateful word: mayo. Brittany Macon, 26, makes it for him. Brittany is apparently too generous with the mayo. Man shoots Brittany dead. Then turns and shoots another young woman in front of her 5-year-old. That woman survived.