Dear Abby: Man's perfectionist tilt irks his laid-back wife

RO-51

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my wonderful husband, "Alec," for five years. This is a second marriage for both of us. We raised children on our own and waited until they were out of the house to get into a relationship.

My issue is Alec plans events and then becomes stressed because the house or the food isn't perfect. My idea of an event is: My family comes over and we enjoy each other's company. We usually do potluck, and everyone helps with the cleanup. My husband's idea of an event is that we are the hosts and everyone sits down to a formal dinner.

I hate this! Why would I spend all my time serving my family and cleaning up after them instead of enjoying BEING with them? In his defense, Alec does most of the prep and hosting on his events because I refuse to kill myself making sure everything is "perfect."