Whether you view it as a riotously over-covered platform that happens to be an obsession of politicos, journos and all manner of wackos, or if you just think of Twitter as the dagger in the back of a prone civilization as it bleeds out, you have to acknowledge it's probably never been more topical.
Any moment now, Donald J. Trump will re-emerge on Twitter after a 22-month ban for some kind of technical violation -- what was it again? Oh yeah, igniting a violent attempted overthrow of the United States government. The former Buffoonatic-in-Chief will soon be tweeting his vituperative "thoughts" at the sudden urging of self-described head twit Elon Musk, who desperately needs a headliner for his flailing freak show.
Musk, already losing hundreds of millions per week on tanking Tesla stock, can't afford to keep Twitter alive without Trump and his 80 million followers. So Musk's stated intention that restoring banned accounts would be a matter for a "content moderation panel" quickly devolved into a one-question Twitter poll that asked for a simple yea-or-nay on whether users wanted the 45th president back on the platform. Fifty-two percent of respondents said yes, a higher approval rating than at any time in his presidency. In fact, Musk's impromptu survey was the only popular vote Trump ever won.
Lest you've forgotten, here are some notable spasms from Trump's unfortunate, sometimes unfathomable tweetfolio:
"Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest - and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault" -- 10:37 p.m., May 8, 2013.
"Windmills are the greatest threat in the US to both bald and golden eagles. Media claims fictional 'global warming' is worse." -- 5:19 p.m., Sept. 9, 2014.
"Healthy young child goes to doctor, gets pumped with massive shot of many vaccines, doesn't feel good and changes -- AUTISM. Many such cases!"-- 4:35 p.m., March 28, 2014.
You'll note he wasn't banned for any of that. It takes a truly vile toxin to get kicked out of a cesspool like Twitter.
This is Trump's tweet from right after Barack Obama won re-election in 2012:
"He lost the popular vote by a lot and won the election. We should have a revolution in this country."
So 2020 wasn't the first time Trump called for a revolution based on a lie -- Obama won the popular vote by nearly 5 million in 2012 -- yet when Trump won the presidency in 2016 in the exact manner in which he mischaracterized Obama's win, no revolution was called for.
Funny how that works.
(Checking Twitter ... nothing yet.)
Meanwhile, Truth Social, the platform that sprang up to give Trump a place to rage in exile, is actually hoping that he'll stick around because, according to the New York Post, "Trump is contractually obligated to give Truth Social a six-hour exclusive on his missives, according to a May filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission."
The fact is, Trump is as desperate to get back on Twitter as Musk is to have him. When you're running for president as the stable genius who directed losing election campaigns in 2018, 2020 and 2022, you need anything remotely positive, even if you have to make it up and tweet it out yourself.
I was going to leave Twitter for my mental health as part of New Year's Resolutions 2020, New Year's Resolutions 2021, when Musk finally took over the platform, when Marjorie Taylor Greene was reinstated, and when I got up Tuesday morning.
(Checking Twitter ... nope.)
But I've been watching this horror movie for 12 years. Now that it's clear someone is about to escape from the insane asylum, the thunderstorm is at full boil, and the phone lines have been cut, it only makes sense to stay and see who kills the boogeyman.
The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette