DEAR ABBY: My longtime girlfriend has a friend who is a faith-based healer — something she gravitates toward.
He lives three hours away, and when he visits, he stays overnight. He’s there now while I am two states away. He does hands-on healing with her and other people she introduces him to. He goes in the water every day of the year, and now my girlfriend does, too, usually very early in the morning. Presumably, they do this together while I am away. Maybe he goes in naked; she would consider that natural.
She told me to not worry about the overnights and the hands-on healing because “he is a man of God.” I told her it doesn’t make any difference. He is divorced and single. Am I being a dope to let this happen without making a strong objection? — MYSTIFIED IN MAINE
DEAR MYSTIFIED: Because this woman is your longtime girlfriend, you have the right to make your feelings about the arrangement known. If you weren’t comfortable with the idea of her entertaining a divorced single man overnight in your absence, you should have said so from the beginning. Whether the two of them are sexually involved is beside the point. If she cares about your feelings, she should respect them. If she doesn’t, it may be time to find another girlfriend.
DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and I met in 2006, had a beautiful daughter in 2007, married in 2010 and divorced in 2013. He was honest with me about being a recovering addict (drugs and alcohol) when we met. Our first few years together were great. However, he fell off the wagon after the wedding and started using drugs and drinking again. It quickly spiraled out of control, and I refused to raise our young daughter in that environment.