5-at-10: Weekend winners (UT looks good) and losers (Hi Bryan Harsin), NFL's greatest show on Earth

Tennessee running back Dylan Sampson (24) crosses the goal line in front of Akron cornerback Tyson Durant (28) during the first half of an NCAA college football game, Saturday, Sept. 17, 2022, in Knoxville, Tenn. (AP Photo/Wade Payne)
Tennessee running back Dylan Sampson (24) crosses the goal line in front of Akron cornerback Tyson Durant (28) during the first half of an NCAA college football game, Saturday, Sept. 17, 2022, in Knoxville, Tenn. (AP Photo/Wade Payne)

Weekend winners

Tennessee. If anyone had mentioned that Josh Heupel and the Vols would be No. 11 in the nation in 17 months after he was hired to redirect that big orange dumpster fire, we would have had them committed. And Saturday, UT pummeled a bad Akron bunch like very good teams are supposed to. (Side note: I know the stats and the rankings and whatnot, but Hendon Hooker has a slew of natural gifts that Heupel has polished and the NFL will covet.)

SEC power players. Alabama and Georgia. Yeah, any questions? While I believe Alabama’s concerns are being greatly overblown — and the Dark Lord is completely happy allowing them to be completely overblown — dagnabbit Georgia looked like world-beaters Saturday in Columbia.

The Braves at home. Your Braves are winners of eight straight at The Tru. That’s something. Side question: Why has that field not been renamed for Hank Aaron? Side question about the side question: Why was Bill Russell given the Jackie Robinson treatment with his number retired across all sports and we collectively are indifferent to the all-time greatness and the extreme strength in the face of hatred that The Hammer was forced to show? Russell was the best winner in a sport that was growing more and more Black and did it in a long-standing racist town. I am not downplaying his accomplishments. But Aaron broke the biggest record in all of sports and certainly in our national pastime, passed arguably the biggest sports star of the 20th century, did it in a divided South and amid death threats. If we add a third number to that forever retired list, I’m all for it being baseball’s 44. Side question about the original side question: What do you think Dr. J thinks about the No. 6 now forever being linked to Russell? Because I know when I was a kid, the 6 belonged to the Doctor.    

San Francisco GM John Lynch. Yes, the 49ers won the game. But Lynch put his name atop the list of front office honors with the unfortunate turn of Sunday’s season-ending ankle injury to Trey Lance. While all the world was clamoring for Lynch and Co. to deal with Jimmy G., Lynch held his water. Renegotiated Jimmy G.’s deal to more team-friendly terms. Kept Jimmy G. through a panic-filled week in Dallas in which there was no telling what Jerry Jones may have offered. And now that Lance is done for the season, Lynch has the best back-up QB on the market waiting in the wings for a team that can contend in the West.

Aaron Judge. The Yankees' slugger is closing in on 60 dingers — in a contract year mind you — and will almost assuredly win the AL MVP. Granted, that's because it's voted on because no one is more valuable than Shohei Ohtani, and that's a hill I will die on.

Weekend losers

Bryan Harsin. Ever have everyone coming over and you burn all the food and your dog leaves a mess on the floor and your drunk uncle Gary is already neck deep into the sauce? Well, that was an extravagant evening at Buckingham Palace compared to what Bryan Harsin and the Auburn leadership authored Saturday in the 3:30 p.m. slot in a Tiger tail-whipping by Penn State. Here’s Paschall’s view in his Monday SEC wrap column. Two stats to keep in mind: Chad Morris is the only SEC football coach in the modern era to not make it through two full seasons (not counting Mike Price’s brief time with Alabama), and boy Harsin looks to be on that firmly tied to those tracks with the train blaring down. Because I know a lot of folks who were hoping Harsin was going to be the guy, especially after he survived the coup d'etat of the offseason. But no one will stand for that. And yeah, that 8-8 mark is only 3-8 against power five foes. So there’s that too.    

Geoff Collins. Any time I think Harsin is a lock to be the next coach fired, Geoff Collins walks across the Tech campus, directly into The Varsity and yells, “Hold my chili dog.” Egad, Tech is bad. Not sure they can put a point spread high enough on Tech games at this point for me to not go against the Jackets to be honest. (Side note: Deion Sanders assuredly has to be on the short list of winners because of Harsin’s and Collins’ failings. I’ve seen him mentioned on social media by both fan bases. Side note on the side note: If I was Deion, and I could get assurances for lower academic admission standards for my football players, I’d take the Tech job before the Auburn job and that’s 100% an indictment of the Auburn situation and the difficulty of rebuilding in the SEC West.)

Joe Burrow. Dude? I thought Joey B was about to be one of those guys. What a disastrous start for the Bengals who have lost to two bad football teams on the final play of each game. And always remember that only 11% of the teams in the modern NFL who have started 0-2 eventually made the playoffs that season.

Matt Olson. Holy swinging a wet noodle while the fan favorite you replaced is going to finish second in the MVP race (lack of a) Batman. When we last met on Friday, Olson was 4-for-his-last-53. Well, add in a bagel-for-12 over the weekend with six strikeouts. That 4-for-65 stretch includes 22 Ks and has dropped his average to .234. Quick ‘er’ month comps: Olson is 4-for-54 with 20 Ks, one homer and 4 RBIs with an OBP of .180 and a sluggin of .130; That guy in L.A. that the Braves thought was too old in September is 21-for-55 with four homers, 13 RBIs and his slashing .331/.405/.525 for the season. 

The Colts and Matt Ryan. Clearly the biggest clown show through the first two weeks of the NFL season. Indy lost 24-0 to Jacksonville for Pete Rozelle’s sake. And big picture, the tarnish a disaster like this could place on Matt Ryan’s all-time legacy is an interesting discussion because for as much as Matt Stafford secure his spot in Canton with last year’s Super Bowl is as much as Matt Ryan could cement his place as Steve DeBerg 2.0. (With that lone MVP starting to look a lot like having an all-time beast as a WR1 and a great-play caller as much as anything Ryan did.)   

Greatness of Sundays in the fall

I certainly could have mentioned so many NFL names, games and moments in the Weekend winners.

Sunday was great theater, combined with art and poetry and magic. If he were still alive, P.T. Barnum would be forced to relinquish the title of “Greatest Show on Earth” and he almost assuredly would be glad to do so.

The 3:30-4 p.m. window of the Red Zone on NFL Network, sweet buckets that was straight adrenaline pumped into your veins with a fire hose, as the final leg of the 1 p.m. collection of games delivered a thrilling collection of supreme NFL moments. Everywhere you looked, it was an improbable comeback, two huge plays, a monster conversion, or a highlight-reel score. Amazing. 

And it was not like the 4 p.m. window was a disappointment with the Cowboys and Cardinals making more magic on an electric Week 2. It was so overwhelming I almost didn’t mind that the staggering comebacks and late-game heroics — Dolphins over Raiders, Dallas over Cincy, Cardinals over Raiders — made my NFL picks bagel-and-3 heading into tonight.

But everything was in place.

Every game had intrigue, and friends, the power of football is going nowhere. It’s the King, and all others need to realize it's long live the King.

It was the first to the party of making its game most-TV friendly, a fact my 12-year-old daughter noticed and reminded me of watching from very good seats in Neyland Stadium on Saturday night.

It's already working national (and global) streaming deals.

Football is positioned perfectly in the societal change and acceptance of gambling. And the NFL back and forths in the betting world from this weekend were mind-blowing. How about these two?

There was the Cleveland-New York Jets game, which had the Browns (favored by 6 or 6.5) up 7 with less than two minutes left. Following the lead of everyone who has ever held a Madden controller, the Jets let the Browns score — and they did — but Cleveland missed the PAT. So up 13 with 82 seconds left, the Jets scored a TD, got the onside kick and scored a game-winner in the waning seconds to win outright.

Then there was the actual roller coaster and the betting Tilt-o-Wheel that was Cards-Raiders. Raiders built a huge lead. Cards cut it 23-15 late. Raiders stop Cards on fourth down with less than 15 seconds left, but a penalty gives the Cards (who are catching 5.5) new life. Arizona scores on fourth down and the final play of the game, which means Raiders fans are desperate to stop the two-point try, but Raiders bettors need the two-point play to be successful. Cards convert and eventually win in overtime.

Nuts.

While we are here, the wink-wink, nod-nod references to gambling in football broadcasts are antiquated and disingenuous. The NFL is making huge dollars with deals with DraftKings and almost every commercial break is filled with some sort of online betting platform pitching its merits compared to others.

In fact, book this — remember when they first added a replay guy to the booth and he weighed in on calls. Now it’s commonplace even in college games.

There will be in-game gambling analysts sooner rather than later that will weigh in on moments and in-game betting decisions.

I’m surprised there’s not already one to be honest, but Jim Nantz and those guys saying phrases like “Well, that score mattered to some people” are no longer cute; it's goofy. 

Yes, it was an inside gag back when Al Michaels was doing it in 2002 on Monday Night Football and we were calling our neighborhood entertainment broker for a little Eagles minus-3 action.

Now, it’s as clever as a knock-knock joke.

But wow, the NFL is glorious.       

This and that

— Man, the eliminator pool continues to get some doozies, no? Few of you folks were on the Bengals over the Cooper Rush-led Cowboys, but several also had some Packers and the Rams. We’re seriously going to be down to like 15 or so, and if the Titans pull the upset over the Bills tonight, it may be fewer than 10. I will post the folks still staving off elimination tomorrow. Deal? Deal.  

— How cool would it be for Albert Pujols to get two more jacks and get into the 700 HR club? Heck, that said, considering the numbers that have earned Matt Olson a monster eight-year deal from the Braves, Pujols at 42 hitting .256 with 19 homers in 273 ABs may be a coveted name during the offseason with the full-time DH being a thing.

— So yes, the NFL picks are needing a lot of Vikings-Eagles scoring tonight to avoid a Matt Olson 0-for-4 with four whiffs. But the college picks fared a bit better. We missed on the Auburn-Penn State over/under because, well, like everyone else with an AU piece of paper on the wall, because of Harsin. But the others not only hit, they hit with some kind of stress-free ease that it almost felt like easy money. Ole Miss minus-16 in a 42-0 win over Tech; Charlotte-Georgia State over 60 in a 42-41 win the Fightin’ Healys desperately needed; LSU getting points at home in a 31-16 win. Yeah that’ll do.

— So Pat Sajak is getting trashed on social media for being in a picture with Marjorie Taylor Greene. So there’s that. Yeah, the left is the more tolerant party, which is oxymoronic because neither extreme should be described as tolerant. That said, the Twitter line of the Wheel of Fortune host with the North Georgia Congress member of “Look it’s Pat Sajak and Vanna Whitesupremacist” was quite clever.     

— Speaking of double standards and social media, man did you see the video of the Oregon student section chanting “F@#$ the Mormons” as BYU fans left durings the Ducks’ surprisingly one-sided win over the Cougars on Saturday? Probably not. That said, Oregon ripping a top-15 BYU team did even more for the mad respect that needs to be put on Georgia’s name right about now.  

— Hard to have higher expectations than the ones I do for the next “Yellowstone” prequel “1923” which stars Harrison Ford, Helen Mirren and has added T-2 villain Robert Patrick to the mix. Giddy-up.

Today’s questions

Weekend winners (tons of choices) and losers (has to be Harsin right?) and have at it.

As for multiple choice Monday, who is the next college football coach fired:

— Bryan Harsin, Auburn

— Geoff Collins, Georgia Tech

— Karl Dorrell, Colorado  

— Butch Jones, Arkansas State (and a fine choice any time this question is raised)

— Other and be specific

As for today, Sept. 19, let’s review.

“The Mary Tyler Moore” show debuted on this day in 1970. MTM is underrated in the discussion of all-time female TV funny ladies. Burnett has to be there. So too does Julia Louis Dreyfus, but MTM is right there in that next crew with no apologies to anyone.

Jeremy Irons is 74 today. He’s had a nice career, and while I’m not sure anyone will be as good a villain as Alan Rickman was as Hans Gruber in “Die Hard,” Irons played Gruber’s brother in the third “Die Hard” and was excellent in that role too.

“The Twist” hit No. 1 on this day in 1960. I think Chubby Checker’s classic is a no-doubter for the Rushmore of dances in song titles. What else makes it?

Go and have a better than Harsin day. 


Upcoming Events