The blue check mark on my Twitter account has been removed.
Among the things I’ve had removed in my life — my appendix, my gall bladder, the engine in my 1976 Datsun B-210 — this extraction caused me the least amount of pain.
If you are not on Twitter, the blue check marks are symbols of verification — a sign that you are who you say you are. But recently the company, now led by visionary entrepreneur Elon Musk, has begun charging customers $8 a month for the check mark.
At first, the blue check marks were status symbols, sort of like the alligators on Lacoste polo shirts back in the 1980s. I remember when Times Free Press staff members first got their blue check marks a few years ago, there was considerable chirping among the younger staff members who considered the check marks social-media currency.
I was unimpressed with my check mark. It felt like someone slapping a hood ornament on a Toyota Corolla and calling it a Mercedes. Now comes that little matter of the $8 a month fee that Twitter would like us to pay for our check marks.
Um, no.
Failure to pay is the reason my check mark was jettisoned. Far from depressed, I feel lighter now.
Here are some things that cost about $8 that I like better than a blue Twitter check mark: a Whopper with cheese meal at Burger King, a ticket to a Lookouts game, a month of Netflix (with ads).
See what I mean? Far from just a trivial tribute, $8 a month has tangible value to most of us non-billionaires.
I don’t object to Twitter changing its business model. The era of free, ad-supported content on the Internet is winding down. But instead of charging customers $8 a month for a fake status symbol, why not charge every user, say, $2 a month for using the service at all.
Actually, I asked myself, “What is Twitter worth to me?” and I came up with “99 cents a month or $10 a year.”
I am a very casual user of Twitter, which puts me in a big club.
According to Pew Research, only about 23% of adults in American use Twitter. That compares to 81% who use YouTube and 69% who use Facebook. Personally, I use YouTube and Facebook daily.
I might use Twitter once or twice a week for sports scores or breaking news. Let there be a gunshot at a mall and everybody jumps on Twitter — me included. But pulling up the app is not part of my daily routine.
All that is to say that $8 a month for a check mark and early access to a few premium features, such as the ability to undo Tweets and access to some special content, doesn’t seem like a great deal to me.
On the other hand, I’m a big fan of Tesla automobiles and space travel.
(READ MORE: Tesla opening showroom, service facility in Chattanooga)
So, Elon, please stick to transportation. Maybe you could put a crowbar — for changing tires — in every Tesla. And paint them blue. That would be a check-mark-shaped tool that does actual work.
The Family Life column is published on Sundays. Contact Mark Kennedy at 423-645-8937 or mkennedy@timesfreepress.com.