Opinion: Joe Biden’s garage of hypocrisy

Photo/Doug Mills/The New York Times / President Joe Biden talks to reporters at the White House in Washington on Jan. 4, 2023.

The Democrats have decided to take down Joe Biden. He might as well be in a statue on a horse in a Confederate uniform in the Portland, Ore., town square.

They got through the midterm elections before revealing that Jumpin' Joe Biden was taking "classified" U.S. documents and throwing them around everywhere: his former DuPont estate mansion, his oceanfront mansion, and his China-funded Penn Biden "think tank" in Washington. The notion that Joe Biden has a "think tank" is as laughable as Donald Trump having a school for etiquette.

You can tell it is Biden's think tank because all the directions are in Chinese or Ukrainian, and the elevator does not go all the way to the top.

The hypocrisy of Biden sending his gun-wielding DOJ goons on a predawn raid on Trump's Florida home is obvious. But my question remains: How does a guy like Joe Biden, a lifelong "public servant," buy so many oceanfront mansions and have such an increase in net worth just working for the gubmint? Joe calls himself an "environmentalist," but his 360-horsepower, gas-guzzling old Corvette does not run on a battery. It runs on ground-up Chevy Volts and Greta Thunberg's tears.

The White House spokeswoman (are we allowed to use that word?), Ms. Cringing Jean-Pierre, offers her word salad of weaselly words to explain this. She refers every question to the DOJ, National Archives or the CIA. They, then, refer inquiries back to her. I'm from the South, and I know that when such a rotating flow of hot air accelerates, tornadoes begin.

If the FBI wants to prove something to us, it needs to raid the Clintons' Chappaqua bedroom to see if there is any evidence that Bill Clinton ever slept there.

I guess Biden thought the Deep State had his back on this document-hiding scam, like it always had. In Joe Biden's America, 30 feds in full-body armor raid 16-year-old Barron Trump's personal bedroom and closet, but not Hunter Biden's. Aside from plundering Barron's closet, they also ravaged Melania Trump's closets for secret documents like she was Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle. And it is a good thing they did: They found 20 boxes marked "Victoria's Secret." They also found Ben Hogan's "Secrets of Golf" in Trump's bookcase.

Biden assures us that the documents piled up in his garage were safe. There is no way anyone could get them unless someone had cutting edge spy stuff, like a smartphone that had a camera in it.

In neither case is this documents flap a big deal. I worked in Washington, D.C., at the U.S. trade representative's office for about a minute. There is very little that Washington knows that is intelligent and worth hiding. If it were valuable, Rep. Adam Schiff would run to a CNN camera and spill it. Nearly one and a half million Americans have top secret clearances, including contractors like Edward Snowden and trans-trader Chelsea Manning. I think the Washington pooh-bahs want us to think they have things worth keeping secret. They do not.

And they talk about keeping our secrets from our enemies? The only real enemy of America now is this unaccountable, growing, morphing, government morass in D.C. that works against us and to its own advantage each and every day.

This spy stuff is silly. We operate from a position of weakness in international diplomacy. In the trade war with China, Joe Biden threatened to cut off our flaxseed and oleagic fruit exports to China. Then China said it would stop shipments of Cialis and Viagra to America. To summarize, game, set, match: China.

Contact Ron Hart, a syndicated op-ed satirist, author and TV/radio commentator, at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.