Opinion: How the presidential primaries are shaping up

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Let's face it. "Gun to the head" honest, only 5% of the country would let Joe Biden watch their kid for an hour. He has been the worst president of modern times. Even Jimmy Carter started comparing him to Jimmy Carter.

We have to get new nominees for both parties. If the 2024 election is a rematch between Trump and Biden, we all lose. Both men will be about 80 years old. If they have a debate, it might as well be held in the balcony box seats of the Muppet Theater. Biden's campaign ads might have to end with, "My name is Joe Biden, and I forget this message."

Biden and his handlers have convinced the Democratic National Committee to get rid of Iowa as the first primary state and start with South Carolina instead. He says South Carolina will nominate a more "electable" Democrat — namely, him. They say Iowa does not represent their demographic as it is "too white."

Dems had to do it. After all, Iowa is one of the top 10 states in work ethic, literacy and graduation rates. No way that state should be picking the best Democrat nominee; it is the least representative of their current party.

The two problems Republicans have in beating a terrible sitting president are of their making. First, they overplayed their hand on abortion and are not in sync with suburban women swing voters. Second, the RNC will allow so many candidates to run that Trump will get his zealous 30% of voters and win. With two candidates, he probably would not.

Here are the leading Republican challengers who have indicated they will run for president:

› Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida. Trump so fears him that DeSantis is the only rival he has bothered to give an eighth grade-quality nickname.

› Nikki Haley, former U.N. ambassador and former South Carolina governor, is polling a close third behind Trump and DeSantis. She resigned as U.N. ambassador under Trump, citing her belief in term limits. Term limits are only a factor in Illinois politics, where governors spend just one term in office, then serve a term in prison. It is the only state where the current governor rides around in a limo whose tags were made by his predecessor.

› Fellow South Carolinian Sen. Tim Scott has also declared. He was appointed to the Senate by Haley when she was governor. If elected president, Scott will be the first bachelor to live in the White House since Bill Clinton.

Rounding up the evangelical votes is former Vice President Mike Pence. He spoke at the famous "Roast and Ride" feast in Des Moines. The gluttonous, music-filled tradition kicks off the campaign season where Iowans devour thousands of ears of corn, fried potatoes, hundreds of pounds of Iowa beef, and — most troubling — the musical quartet's banjo player is missing.

› Chris Christie is rumored to be running. He is a guy you want on your side, unless you are in a canoe.

My favorite would be DeSantis. He has all the policies of Trump without the polarizing ego. He is the best hope of winning a general election against Biden or whatever "Weekend at Bernie's" form of Biden he takes.

The only fly in the ointment for Democrats, who like to rubber-stamp both their candidates and ideas, is the scion of the Democrat Party, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. He has thrown his hat in the ring. NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers endorsed Kennedy based on his anti-vaccination views. I like any candidate with a healthy distrust of government. They are seldom wrong.

RFK Jr.'s uncle, John F. Kennedy, was an iconic president and a brave man. He earned the respect of many of us when he took on Marilyn Monroe with such a bad back.

Contact Ron Hart, a syndicated op-ed satirist, author and radio/TV commentator, at Ron@RonaldHart.com.