On Saturday at 2 a.m., heard all around the word was: "The royal coronation is on TV."
For England, a country the size of Alabama, the 1,000-year-old ritual of swearing in a monarch is both cool and creepy. If you listen to many on the left, Great Britain colonized and plundered for its wealth. But it grew and it prospered. I guess the lesson here is that good things come to those who steal.
The way our government is going, there are times I wish the British would forgive us and take us back. These days most Americans would probably agree. Had the Brits not insisted on fighting us in the woods in bright red coats, we might still be under British rule.
Things are finally starting to come together for King Charles. But instead of playing "God Save the King" as he was anointed, I suggested the band play the theme song from "The Jeffersons." Charles waited a long time for this. In fact, when his son, Prince William (who is now first in line for the throne), leaned over to kiss him during the ceremony, Prince Charles reminded him, "Son, this is a very slow-moving line."
Queen Elizabeth endowed Prince Harry with the title of Duke of Sussex and his wife, Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex. In high school, I was the Douche of NoSex, so I get it. But part of the reason Meghan and Harry left England for California was that Harry is sixth in line to be king. Also, at 94, Queen Elizabeth drove herself, drank six cocktails a night, and was a bad a—. I'd like to hang with her. Prince Charles — not so much.
When they came to the Americas, Harry and Meghan thought they would still be royalty. Here, Harry will be fourth in the line of succession behind King Lebron James and Meghan seventh in line behind Queen Latifah.
However, many of us royal watchers were concerned that the couple would not be prepared for the real world. I was afraid they could end up on the street, castle-less, doing info commercials with Sir Mix-A-Lot. But liberal Hollywood bailed them out with tell-all documentaries and the book "Spare."
They demanded their privacy while they gave whiny interviews each week and made bratty documentaries. They began to wear on most of us. The queen even demoted them when they moved to LA, from Prince Harry to "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air."
Meghan did not attend the coronation. According to newspaper accounts, she "went hiking." (So she finally took the advice of the royals and took a hike.) She missed a nice coronation but will catch the next one. They only come along every 70 years or so.
We older folks love the pageantry of celebrations like this, but there is ample pushback on the monarchy now from younger "woke" people. Many are angry about this antiquated event, and about those who will not let go of the past.
I really should not make fun of Mother England as I travel there next week. My ancestors came from there, "way back" in the Mayflower era. John Hart signed the Declaration of Independence. (He thought it was a bar tab.) I am so white you would think I'd be more excited about a ritual like a coronation.
No doubt I would be viewed as "white privileged." I have the blue blood of a much too confident white dude.
The left, like Obama, Oprah and Bidens, are the ones who hate old-world colonizing countries like Britain and their grandiose displays of white privilege. And they love campaigning against white privilege in the U.S., but when the fancy invites to weddings or coronations come, they fly private jets to England to see what all the fuss is about.
Contact Ron Hart, a syndicated op-ed satirist, author and TV/radio commentator, at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on Twitter.