DEAR ABBY: I have been with my live-in boyfriend for eight years. During the last five months, he has started staying out until daylight, choosing his friends over me, snapping at me when he talks at all and doesn’t want to be around me. We have always gone everywhere together and shared our friendships with each other. There’s an age gap of 16 years, but it has never been a problem.
I left for a month last year when I caught him talking to another woman through messaging (not platonic talk). That month I did a lot of soul-searching and set boundaries I will no longer allow to be broken. Because of past failed relationships, I have learned how to stand up and voice my opinion and care for myself emotionally. I guess my question is, should I be concerned, keep trying to communicate my feelings to him or move on with my life? I always put him ahead of anyone other than my children and God, but he doesn’t give me the same respect. — LOST FOR ANSWERS IN ARKANSAS
DEAR LOST: Is your boyfriend the person who is 16 years younger? I ask because his behavior is certainly immature. In light of what you have written, it should be clear to you that he is no longer as committed to your relationship as you have been. You stated that you have established boundaries that you will no longer allow to be broken. Good for you. It is time to reestablish them because the treatment you have been receiving is not only disrespectful, but also cruel. You may have devoted years to the relationship, but from my perspective, you have invested enough. Tell him you can see that he is not happy and ask him if he wants to break up. I have a strong feeling that the answer will be yes.
DEAR ABBY: I am 20 years old. I started a job in which I thought I’d be replacing a co-worker who is supposed to be retiring. She says she’s only cutting back to a day or two a week. I was told she’d be gone in a month. She is politically conservative, deeply religious and sometimes moody, which makes her difficult for me to be around.
I have kept my mouth shut since I have been here only a month. I recently found out two other people had been hired for my role before I was, and both quit within six months. Should I stay and wait it out or follow the possibility of happiness elsewhere? — HOT AND BOTHERED IN INDIANA