DEAR ABBY: Two years before he met me, my husband of four years solicited a prostitute. When he committed this act, he was going through a dark period in his life.
He told me while we were dating, and I thought I would eventually get over it. However, almost five years into our relationship, it still haunts me. I hate that he was capable of doing something like this,
I have tried therapy. We’ve tried couples therapy. I just can’t seem to separate the man who did that awful thing and the man I fell in love with. Are some actions so awful that they stain a person for the rest of their lives? Are we doomed? — WRESTLING WITH IT IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR WRESTLING: Your husband was honest with you from the beginning of your relationship and has been, I presume, a faithful partner. As you stated, he was under a lot of pressure when that happened. I can’t name one person who hasn’t made a mistake sometime in the past, including me. Use some common sense and quit judging your poor husband for his one slip, or please free him to find a woman who will appreciate him for who he is.
DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I are retired. I thought we would spend our retirement doing things together, but all she wants to do is sleep. It is not unusual for her to stay in bed for two days straight, getting up only to use the bathroom and get a drink. She does not help with the housekeeping or other household chores.