Opinion: Train wrecks! Embryos! Moonshot! Layoffs! The news stops for no one

Photo/Charity Rachelle/The New York Times / A rally in support of in vitro fertilization organized by Fight for Alabama Families is held outside the Alabama State House in Montgomery on Wednesday, Feb. 28, 2024. Alabama lawmakers are racing to protect routine IVF practices, moving to assuage families after a State Supreme Court ruling held that frozen embryos should be considered children, forcing at least three clinics to halt treatments.
Photo/Charity Rachelle/The New York Times / A rally in support of in vitro fertilization organized by Fight for Alabama Families is held outside the Alabama State House in Montgomery on Wednesday, Feb. 28, 2024. Alabama lawmakers are racing to protect routine IVF practices, moving to assuage families after a State Supreme Court ruling held that frozen embryos should be considered children, forcing at least three clinics to halt treatments.

With all the news swirling lately, here's a quick roundup of what you might have missed:

The Alabama Supreme Court, which looks like a Baptist preacher convention subcommittee appointed to police dirty dancing betwixt the young 'uns, voted that unused in-vitro fertilized eggs were to be treated as human. Things have changed in 'Bama. Once there was the KKK, a group of guys in white robes who scared the hell out of Blacks. Now the state's Supreme Court is a bunch of white guys in black robes who scare the hell out of white people.

On the bright side, frustrated want-to-be mothers in Alabama can look forward to next year's Bring Your Embryo to Work Day.

The University of Texas took down four Confederate statues. What makes it worse is that all four entered the portal to play for Ole Miss.

Biden visited a cemetery in Delaware and opened his campaign headquarters there. It was a great PR stunt until the graveyard checked his vital signs and made him show an ID before he was allowed to leave.

You know it is election time: swing states suddenly matter. Biden finally went to East Palestine, Ohio, to pander over the railroad accident there that spilled toxic chemicals in February 2023. He immediately blamed Israel for overplaying its hand in East Palestine.

Nikki Haley keeps losing and keeps hanging onto her well-funded campaign. Her campaign will go down in history as the longest Fox News commentator interview of all time. If Trump beats her again, Biden's DOJ will file domestic battery charges against him.

Elon Musk forges on with his dominance of space exploration. The U.S. landed on the moon again recently and plans to be on Mars in a few years. Both visits are significant; we know this because a Dollar General popped up shortly after we visited.

Trump was convicted in a vindictive, home-cooked NYC bank fraud trial and ordered to pay a $350 million fine — to the local government that convicted him. Dems live in a world where you prosecute a private sector loan that was paid back in full, while making sure students don't have to pay back their loans to the Treasury.

In Florida a judge valued Mar-a-Lago at $20 million (what the county tax assessor valued it at), when it is clearly worth more than $1 billion. It is a 126-room mansion on 17 acres on the ocean on Palm Beach Island. But Republicans are teaming up to help Trump pay this. Former Sen. Fred Thompson and actor Tom Selleck have pitched him a reverse home mortgage, so Trump will never have to lose his house in retirement.

Biden was excused by the DOJ for harboring obviously stolen secret documents because he is so out of it he does not remember things and couldn't stand trial. Afterward, Trump called Nikki Haley "Nancy Pelosi," E. Jean Carol "Marla Maples," and his wife "Mercedes." It is clear he is setting up the "Biden Defense," so that no special prosecutor can touch him in the future.

Disney continues to flounder. Its "woke" movies lost billions, and the leftist agenda in California insults Middle America. Mickey Mouse has taken up wearing a Gavin Newsom watch.

Legacy liberal corporate media like the Los Angeles Times, Newsweek, NBC News and Sports Illustrated continue historic firings. More than 20,000 journalists and the like have lost their jobs since 2020. But the good news is that many of the "journalists" found work at Starbucks in nice, white neighborhoods where they serve coffee and write "racist" on the cups.

Contact Ron Hart, a syndicated op-ed satirist, author and TV/radio commentator, at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on X (formerly Twitter).

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