DEAR ABBY: I’m a 67-year-old father to a wonderful daughter. She has decided to stay with her boyfriend, who recently got out of jail for stealing $200,000 from his grandparents. Because of this, I do not want to leave her a large sum of money when I pass. (As of now, she would inherit it.)
My problem is, how do I tell her I am removing her from my will? If I tell her, I’m scared she will hate me and end our relationship. But if I don’t tell her now, she’ll be so disappointed when that time does come.
Her boyfriend has already stolen $200 from her checking account since his release from jail. He has a gambling problem but continues to deny it. I cannot take the chance that he wouldn’t steal from her on a much bigger scale. She stands to inherit more than $400,000.
How do I tell her? I know I can set up a trust for her, but telling her my decision is the difficult problem. — PLANNING AHEAD IN FLORIDA
DEAR PLANNING: You didn’t say that you are in ill health. You could live another 15 or 20 years and, if you do, your daughter could have wised up and chosen a more suitable partner by then. I do think your idea of creating a trust for her is a good one. However, I see no reason why you should discuss that plan with her now. If you feel the need to explain, do it in a letter to be given to her at the time of your demise.