DEAR ABBY: I’m a 55-year-old man who dated a very special lady, “Dawn,” for 12 years. We were both married when we met. I fell in love with her, and after we divorced our spouses, we continued being together.
I have two kids. Dawn didn’t get along with the older one. My daughter wasn’t rude, but she obviously didn’t like Dawn. I proposed to Dawn, and she accepted. Over the next few months, she became agitated and threw her engagement ring back at me. I kept it until we figured things out.
Two years later, Dawn ghosted me. I was hurt, so I gave her space. (We reconciled five months later.) Three years later, I finally trusted her enough to ask her about getting married. Then, right at Christmas, she ghosted me again. Six months later, nothing. I texted her after four months to no avail.
I am now in therapy. Abby, I don’t know how to move forward. Sometimes I get these divine messages, signs, dreams, etc. I hesitate to label anyone, but I wonder if I’m dealing with a woman who has a commitment phobia. What should I do now? I have respectfully not contacted her except once. I am heartbroken. I’m not asking if I should wait around. I’m living my life. But these divine messages and signs have me wondering. — DESTROYED IN VIRGINIA
DEAR DESTROYED: I am pleased you are now in therapy, because it is where you belong. I don’t know what your daughter picked up on about Dawn, but perhaps you should ask her. If you do, it may give you some insight. Your therapist may be able to explain what Dawn’s problem is, but whatever it is, it is no longer your problem.