DEAR ABBY: I have been with my wife for 17 years. We have three daughters. She doesn’t work, doesn’t have a driver’s license, doesn’t clean and rarely cooks. I often find myself so frustrated at her lack of commitment to the family that I drink and go to bed after I cook dinner.
I work 60 hours a week to provide for our family and am not receiving any help from my wife. I don’t know what to do. I do all the shopping and take the girls to dance three days a week (which means I have to leave work early). It causes bad arguments. What can I do to motivate her to change? — DOING EVERYTHING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR DOING EVERYTHING: You state that your wife doesn’t work, doesn’t drive, doesn’t clean and rarely cooks. What does she do all day? Is she watching television? Taking drugs? Is she so depressed she can’t get out of bed?
You should not be carrying the whole load yourself, but drinking and going to bed are not the answer. Ask your doctor or health insurance company for a referral to a licensed psychotherapist who can help you unravel this mess. Nothing will change until you do.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter added her girlfriend to our family group chat last December. Now the girlfriend is accepting invitations from family members that weren’t meant for her. Granted, she has been dating my daughter for more than five years, but none of us like her or feel comfortable around her. We’re afraid to say anything due to our love for our daughter. How do we get her off the family group chat and stop her from being so invasive in our lives without hurting our daughter? — CLOSING RANKS