DEAR ABBY: Please help me move forward. My brother-in-law is dating a woman my husband was intimate with once before we were married. It makes family functions very awkward for me, but most of the family sees it as the past. It was the past, but it is now in our faces. My husband feels the same way.
Do we just keep the peace and stay away from functions as she seems to be more accepted than I am? We have been married 37 years. Are we being unreasonable?? — CONFUSED IN THE EAST
DEAR CONFUSED: Oh, my. It seems like “who goes around comes around.” It’s a shame that you can’t leave the past — a one-night stand more than 37 years ago — in the past and find the humor in this. I suspect it happens more often than you think. Please quit regarding this as a competition between you and your brother-in-law’s girlfriend. Your husband chose YOU. End of contest. If there is cause for embarrassment, it should be hers, not yours.
DEAR ABBY: My wife, “Muriel,” and I have been together for 10 years and married for seven. She has worked in animal rescue for much of her life. Muriel thinks she has to save them all. No amount of explaining the financial and other consequences gets through to her.
We currently have 21 pets living in our house. I have tried searching for support groups that might help, but to no avail. Even if I found such a group, my wife won’t admit there is a problem. Can you help? — STUMPED IN THE MIDWEST