As we just celebrated America’s 250th birthday, I found myself thinking about freedom.
Not just the big, beautiful idea of it, but the everyday reality of it. We enjoy freedom of speech, but that freedom depends on people using their words with some measure of truth, courage and restraint. We enjoy freedom of religion, but that freedom depends on neighbors respecting one another’s conscience, even when they disagree. We enjoy the freedom to vote, build businesses, raise families, move across state lines, gather in public, protest peacefully and pursue the kind of life we believe is meaningful.
But none of those freedoms work very well if people refuse to consider how their choices affect everyone else. Freedom is not just the ability to do whatever we want. It is the responsibility to make choices that allow both ourselves and others to flourish.
And, of course, as someone who spends a lot of time thinking about healthy relationships and families, my mind went there next.
Because the joy and freedom found in a healthy relationship are also deeply dependent on the people inside it. A good relationship is not one where two people slowly become the same person. It is not one where every opinion, plan, hobby, friendship and decision must be approved by a committee. And it is certainly not one where “I love you” quietly turns into “I can’t function unless you are okay with me.”