DEAR ABBY: I am the single mom of a 19-year-old daughter who copes with bipolar 2, ADHD, anxiety and depression. She has a mental age that’s younger than her adult self. Over the years, she has gone through therapy and changes in medication.
It has been recommended that my daughter attend a residential therapy program, but she refuses. Since finishing high school, she has refused everything: college classes, job applications, exploring other therapies or taking any small steps toward independence in the future.
Her goals now center around socializing and smoking marijuana with a few friends. She rarely leaves her room except when they call. There are days I doubt she’s med compliant or wants the help others try to give.
It’s heartbreaking watching her being “stuck,” but I am also tired of being held hostage to her behavior and actions. Many days I want to pack up her stuff and tell myself she’ll figure things out. (I would continue to be here when she needs me.) Is this fair given her mental health challenges? Because she is at risk, I feel like anything I do is wrong. — BURNED-OUT MOM IN COLORADO
DEAR MOM: I know of few people who, if given the choice, wouldn’t like life to be a constant party. You may need the services of a licensed psychotherapist to decide what to do to help your daughter. It’s apparent to me that unless there are consequences for her unwillingness to help herself, nothing will change and she will continue floating on a cloud of cannabis in perpetuity.