In last week’s column, I began to deal with the issue of church hurt. I pointed out that in some cases, the church hurt card is merely an excuse for wanting to live a sinful life without anyone being allowed to speak against it, but in other cases, it is a real hurt brought on by real unkindness and/or unbiblical behaviors and attitudes from those who damage the sheep rather than caring for the sheep.
I gave five initial things to help with the issue. In summary, distinguish between God and man, distinguish between the vast majority of loving, kind believers and the handful of others who are not, distinguish between needful hurts and needless hurts, distinguish between intentional hurts and unintentional hurts, and distinguish between “that church” and “every church.”
Let’s continue.
The sixth thing you should do is remember the good in good people who do or say dumb, hurtful things. When we come to believe that everyone who hurts our hearts is therefore entirely horrible, we create a life with nothing but sharp edges, and sharp edges make everyone bleed. Peter denied Jesus three times, cursed, and claimed to not even know him. How badly would it hurt you if someone did that to you? And yet, Jesus, while acknowledging what Peter did, did not make that Peter’s entire identity. He knew the good things Peter had already done, and the good he still could do.
Some of the people who cause church hurt are nothing more than another Peter; decent people who somehow manage to do and say some horrible, inexcusable things. See them that way, and you will help yourself and them.