Some people’s stories don’t come with clean endings. They don’t tie up neatly or offer us a clear hero and villain. They just sit with us, heavy, complicated and unresolved.
Recently, my family lost someone like that.
They were the kind of person you wanted at your dinner table. Funny, warm, generous, compassionate. The first to make you laugh. They were deeply loved. And also, if we are telling the whole truth, they made choices that left a long trail of hurt behind them.
They walked away from a young spouse and child early on. A decision they spent much of their life regretting. There were attempts at rebuilding, but also more instability. Another marriage. Another divorce. Years marked by alcoholism, substance abuse, DUIs, jail time and consequences that stacked up across states and decades.
Eventually, they did get sober. In their late 50s, something shifted. But sobriety came late, and the cost of those earlier years remained. Their body was worn down. Their finances were gone. By their 60s, they were largely alone, relying on siblings for shelter and support.