DEAR ABBY: My daughter, “Aline,” 40, has gone from crisis to crisis since childhood. She can go from kind and generous one minute to vindictive and mean the next. She’s easily triggered into rants, hurling the most hurtful words she can come up with. Men move in and out of her life on a regular basis.
I’m sure Aline would qualify as mentally ill, but she insists she’s too smart to go to therapy — she knows more than they do. I have become exhausted dealing with her. She believes everything is my fault. I’d walk away if I could.
Aline has three children, 11, 17 and 25. She treats them like possessions and makes grand promises one day and reverses herself the next day, declaring them “unworthy.” The eldest moved out at 18 and has never looked back. He has had a difficult time due to the emotional damage his mother inflicted on him, but now he’s in a stable situation thanks to support from me and his uncle.
My concern at this point is with the younger two. All I can offer them is emotional support, but they are suffering. Because the abuse is not physical, there seems to be little else I can do. Any suggestions on how to help me, and them, deal with this? — GRANDMA PROTECTOR
DEAR PROTECTOR: Your daughter’s middle child will be 18 in less than a year. Could that grandchild live with you or their adult sibling until they figure out what they want to do about the rest of their education or future employment?