DEAR ABBY: I am a 62-year-old man. I was born with a cleft lip and cleft palate. Growing up, I had several surgeries and much dental work to improve my appearance. I had wonderful friends who never teased me about it.
Now, looking back at my childhood, I realize that my father hated me because of the way I looked when I was born. He has never asked me to spend time with him and was always angry with me. Even now, when he sees me, I can feel the hatred he has toward me. I really hate being around him, but I sometimes have to see him at family gatherings. How should I handle this? — ANGRY AND CONFUSED
DEAR ANGRY AND CONFUSED: Start by remembering to cherish your wonderful friends and consider yourself lucky to have so little contact with dear old Dad. Handle family functions by limiting your direct interaction with him. Be cordial, but maintain a comfortable distance. Focus on the rest of the family and enjoy their company. Many families have members who don’t get along, but it doesn’t have to cause drama.
DEAR ABBY: Several weeks ago, I got a phone call from a stranger. She asked if I was the “Steve Hall” who had been in the Marines, and whom she remembered from high school. I told her I was not, and that I grew up in a different part of the country. Then I got a letter from her, asking essentially the same thing. She called again, and I repeated my answer and wished her luck.
I’m writing because I am concerned for her. She appears obsessive or perhaps very forgetful. She seems able to use the internet and make phone calls, she is calm and polite, her letters are brief and lucid, and she has neat handwriting. Like I said, though, her persistence seems odd. I’m just a little concerned. What would you do in this situation? — STEWING STRANGER