DEAR ABBY: When my boyfriend found out I have the money to do it, he asked me to pay off his car. Now, because I said no, he won’t answer the phone or talk to me. I have helped him in the past, but he continues to ask me for money. I think he’s using me. He tries to make me feel guilty by accusing me of not caring about him because, “If I did, I would pay off his car.”
I’m 58 years old, and the money I have is for me to live comfortably, not to spend on him. I told him as much, and he still insists I should help him with his bills. We live separately, and I suspect he’s really just interested in the money, but I’m afraid of being lonely. What should I do? – WELL-OFF IN THE SOUTH
DEAR WELL-OFF: There are worse things than being lonely (for a while). Chief among them is knowing you are being used by someone who cares nothing about you beyond what he can extract from you. What you should do is kick him to the curb and not look back. There are better days ahead for you if you do.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are having a hard time navigating a recurring situation in our marriage. My husband is friendly with three brothers. They hang out often and sometimes drink. Their sister sometimes hangs out with them, too.
I’m uncomfortable with my husband getting drunk when she’s around. He continues to do it, though, in spite of my concerns. Last night, he was at his friend’s house from 11 p.m. until 6 a.m. She was there for part of the drinking and partying. I really have a hard time with this. What should we do? – UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE WEST