Street smart
A guy walk sin to a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says to the bartender, “I’ll take a beer – and one for the road.”
Horse, of course
Jack strode into John’s stable looking to buy a horse.
“Listen here” said John, “I have just the horse you are looking for. The only thing is that an interesting fellow trained him. He does not go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream, “Hey, hey!” The way to get him to go is to scream, “Thank God!”