Top 10 new questions on the 2010 census form
10. Who died and made you Person Number 1?
9. How many squatters live in your home?
8. What is your alarm code, and when are you least likely to be home?
7. How many people does it take to change a lightbulb in this household?
6. How’s that hopey-changey thing going for ya?
5. How are you related to Kevin Bacon?
4. How long have you been unemployed?
3. Would you like to donate $1 toward John Boehner’s tanning expenses?
2. How often does Tiger Woods sleep at this address?
1. Have you lost your job (to Jay Leno) this year?
Source: “Late Show With David Letterman”