I’ll never forget the first time I heard a couple say they wanted to get married and had intended to for 20 years, but they didn’t know how. They loved each other, had two children together and lived in the same house for over two decades, but getting married felt out of reach for them financially and emotionally. No one in their family was married, and the few people they knew who had made vows to each other wound up divorced.
Living in a family with no divorces and surrounded by happily married couples, I made a lot of false assumptions about why certain couples chose to live together and never marry or why some people struggle with commitment. It wasn’t until I began working at First Things First and dove into the diversity of families, values and cultures in our own community that I truly understood the difficulty and bias that exist.
In recent years, the concept of “marriage deserts” has emerged as a significant social issue in America. A marriage desert is an area, often defined by socioeconomic and geographic lines, where marriage rates are significantly lower than the national average. These regions are characterized by a scarcity of married couples and a high prevalence of single-parent households. The occurrence is not just a matter of personal choice but is influenced by a range of economic and social factors, such as:
› Economic instability: Financial insecurity is a major barrier to marriage. Research shows that stable employment and economic prospects are strong predictors of marriage. In areas with high unemployment rates and low wages, individuals may feel they cannot afford to get married.
› Educational disparities: Higher education levels are correlated with higher marriage rates. In communities where educational attainment is low, marriage rates tend to be lower as well. Educational disparities contribute to economic challenges, creating a cycle that perpetuates low marriage rates.
› Cultural shifts: Societal attitudes toward marriage have evolved, with many viewing it as less essential for personal fulfillment. In some communities, particularly those facing economic hardships, marriage may be seen as an unattainable goal rather than a desired norm.
› Social networks and community support: Strong social networks and community support play crucial roles in fostering and sustaining marriages. In marriage deserts, the absence of these support systems makes it harder for couples to form and maintain marriages.
Marriage deserts can have serious implications for individuals, children and communities. Research consistently shows that children raised in two-parent households have better educational, emotional and economic outcomes. Plus, married individuals often experience better physical and mental health, greater financial stability and stronger social support networks.
Addressing the issue of marriage deserts requires a multifaceted approach. The first step is understanding what marriage deserts are, why they exist and why they matter for the community at large. False assumptions and misunderstandings about marriage and individuals who may or may not choose to pursue marriage must be put aside. By addressing the root causes of marriage deserts and promoting policies and programs that support marriage, we can create healthier, more stable communities. It’s crucial to remember that strengthening families strengthens society as a whole.
Of course, simply promoting marriage without providing the tools, skills and resources to support and strengthen the relationship would be putting a Band-Aid on a bigger issue, especially in areas where marriage hasn’t been the norm for several generations. Providing a remedy requires a community willing to pour into others and strong families willing to mentor and support those who are creating positive generational change in their families. Doing so is not just about promoting marriage but about creating intentional environments where families can thrive and contribute to the well-being of our communities.
If you’d like to learn more about how you can contribute to the well-being of families in our community, go to firstthings.org/advocate.
Lauren Hall is president and CEO of family advocacy nonprofit First Things First. Email her at lauren@firstthings.org.