5-at-10: Massive Friday mailbag on the frustrating Falcons, Burt Reynolds’ place on Rushmore of ladies men, College sports issues, NASCAR’s issues, College football and a big thank you to you

We are going to start this Friday mailbag with a personal note.

Thank you friends. For your support. For your loyalty. For your day-in, day-out regular visits.

It’s been a rotten summer. In the last 22 months, with my parents died from brain cancer. It’s been harder than I expected, but it’s been easier than it could have been because a lot of you. I appreciate your well wishes, your prayers and maybe most importantly, you guys making the 5-at-10 as popular as ever, which makes life feel more normal.

I’m a little emotional today because my son – Jerry Lee Greeson III, named for his dad, who was named for his dad, who died a month ago today – is 11 today. Yes, 11. Seems strange. He’ll be in middle school next time this year.

For a lot of reasons, I’m 47 going on 25. Still, I’ve never felt so old.

Wow, how about that for an uplifting 10 a.m. kick to gut before a monster football weekend?

(Still, thanks gang. You guys are aces.)

This week’s Rushmores and Survivor Pool so far. (Gang, we gave everyone until the end of BID-ness today so there may be more folks entered before the Week 1 results are posted.)

We have to start with this caveat on one of our Rushmores. We asked on Thursday about the all-time Rushmore of toys. Sweet buckets this was a tough one, and one that simply had to be divided into the pre- and post-birth of the 5-at-10 (October 1970). Atari, which started in 1972 with something called Pong changed everything friends. Everything. To go Old Testament on you, Atari begat Intellivision, which begat ColecoVision, which begat the Atari 5200. That begat the hand-held gaming items, like the old-school white Mattel Football game. (If you want to bad mouth the old-school Mattel Football game, you have our permission to go elsewhere today for your online distractions as you ignore work.) But the video game crash of the mid-1980s – spurred by price and the disastrous results from an E.T. video game and the arcade flexing its muscle on old favs like Pac-Man.

Then came Nintendo, and everything changed. Everything. For Pete’s sake, do you know a kid that is not next deep in Minecraft or Yourcraft or whatever else is out there. Not saying this is a good thing either. But if we had to limit it to one Rushmore of toys – and considering how many video game consoles Santa has delivered in his time, it certainly counts as a toy – the Mario Brothers and Minecraft laugh at LEGO and Lincoln Logs.

Rushmore of toys: Old school, we’ll go Barbie Doll, the ball, which is perennially underrated, like the Matchbox cars suggestion and LEGOs. New school, we’ll go video games, Cabbage Patch dolls, Nerf products and the Tickle Me Elmo doll. (Side joke, courtesy of our good friend Dr. David Barker: Not sure if you knew it or not but originally there were boy and girl versions of the Tickle Me Elmo dolls. The biggest difference was they gave the girl dolls one trial run and they gave the boy dolls two test tickles.)

Rushmore of coolest Indian names: Crazy Horse, Geronimo, Wilma Mankiller, Sitting Bull, which leaves out some great ones like Standing Bear, Shacknasty Jim and of course Dances with Wolves.

Rushmore of TV doctors: Dr. Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy, Marcus Welby, Doogie Howser, Greg House. We can see the argument for Hawkeye Pearse, but that falls into the same category as Doug Ross (Clooney from ER) in that was more about the ensemble than the doctor. (You could say that about Grey’s Anatomy too, but do you realize that show is about to be 15 years old?) We left off all-timers too like Dr. Nick from the Simpsons, Dr Frasier Crane, Dr. Phil, Dr. Bones McCoy and Dr. Tim Whatley (Seinfeld’s dentist). Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable has been ruled ineligible for all current and future Rushmore.

Rushmore of all-time funniest sports nicknames: Flying Tomato, Boogie, Muscle Hamster, and apparently Jadeveon Clowney’s little known nickname in his hometown of “Doo-Doo” because Clowney apparently left a little present in the public swimming pool when he was a kid. Here’s betting Mr. Clowney is not a big fan of that one.

Gang, we got a TON of questions this week. Kudos and visor tip to everyone playing along. That said, our answers will (hopefully) be a little more concise and direct than our normal rambling style. Deal? Deal.

From Alejandro

Trio of questions for you.

Is it more valuable to win a game where you did not have your best and have to grind it out like Auburn or catch a team on a bad night and blow them out like LSU?

Last week we did the best pregame traditions, what about the best postgame win traditions (West Virginia singing John Denver is strong)?

UGA got rid of part of the student section and is allowing non-students to sit in the end zone. It means a lot of sophomores only got 4 home game tickets. Do you think it is as ridiculous as I do? Take away the most passionate and loud fans for more revenue. A family with kids was sitting two rows in front of me and kept asking the students in front of them to sit down.

Alejandro

I think the former. You get the W, which is all that really matters in today’s college football, and you are certain to have their attention before the next week. If you are an LSU fan you have to love the fact that LSU gets a directional opponent this week after destroying Miami. One of the hardest things for a coach to curtail is the “rat poison” (copyright Nick Saban) that comes after a dominant win. (Although, contrary to Saban’s belief that the poison comes from the media, it actually comes from friends and college students and everybody the players see day to day.)

Postgame traditions: Yes, West Virginia’s on there. That is money. Here’s a clip. Goose bumps friends. Rolling Toomer’s Corner is cool. Done it two times: In 1989 after Alabama came to town No. 2 in the country and left with an L in its first trip to The Plains, the other was after the celebration of the 2010 natty. FSU’s sod cemetery. (When FSU would go on the road and get a win, they’d bring home a piece of the turf and plant it in the sod cemetery back in Tallahassee.) And maybe the coolest is the “Honor the Fallen” tradition after the Army-Navy game. Good times. Excuse me, it’s a little dusty. Dang allergies.

Ridiculous? Absolutely. Surprised? Not in the least. And if the fortunes of your Dawgs ever turn, they will be begging the students to come back, you know?

Great questions as always. Good luck tomorrow.

—

From Steve M.

Late start today J, and good column as usual, but i have a specific question about Nascar. You, like me, being a fan, or at least having been a fan at some point in the past, what do you think about the announcement yesterday from Furniture Row Racing about shutting it down after this season is over? Are things worse off than we even imagined in America’s premier motor sports league? Last years championship team, and a legitimate top 3 team this year with a good shot at another championship, and they are calling it quits because they cannot get a sponsor. Are we witnessing the end of Nascar as we know it? (I would argue that we have already seen the end of Nascar as we know, it but you get the point.)

Stevie McB –

Great question, and I believe things for NASCAR are worse than I thought, even a few months ago.

For those not in the know, Furniture Row has announced it is pulling the plug on its entire racing operation at the end of the season. This happens from time to time, but normally it’s a sponsor that has had mixed results and limited returns on the investments.

But Furniture Row was on the hood of Martin Truex’s car and Truex won it all last year. In some ways, it’s like the Eagles calling it quits after winning the Super Bowl.

Which, considering the success and the exposure, if the lead sponsor of the the champ is not getting return on the investment, then which sponsor is? And in a sport that can not operate in its current model without sponsors that has to be every bit as disturbing as the plummeting ratings.

(How bad are the ratings you ask? Well, check this out and know that after last week’s race at Darlington was down 14 percent in eyeballs and 17 percent in the ratings from 2017, it marked the 20th time in 23 Cup races this year to see double-digit dips from 2017.

Wow.

If we set the over/under on NASCAR at 10 years, whatcha’ got?

—

From Julie C.

Here’s a question, Jay. I’m not as big into basketball so I’ve only recently become aware of the dirty politics/rules infractions that evidently are prevalent in that sport. I’ve heard some say that all the AAU and shoe company stuff makes it all worse than the cheating in NCAA Football. Is it really? That’s hard for me to believe bc I figure there is way more money in College Football, isn’t there? We might as well call the SEC the Minor League NFL, most of those kids are getting paid somehow.

Julie –

College basketball is so dirty, Pigpen from Peanuts giggles at the filth around game.

Seriously.

It is the Old West and the rules are ignored, and when we say “Everyone’s doing it” man it’s the truth in college hoops. And that goes all the way back to John Wooden and maybe before that.

And the elite programs have a license to steal, cheat and pay players because the simple fact of the matter is that the NCAA makes 98 percent of its revenue from the March Madness deal with CBS and TBS, and March Madness without Kentucky, Kansas, UNC, Duke or any of the other blue bloods is extremely less valuable.

Yes we all love the upsets, but there is no David without Goliath gang.

Now to the simple baseline detail in all of this: It’s so bad in the shoe BID-ness and AAU stuff and the college coaches at state-funded universities that the FBI is now involved.

Your point about the SEC being the NFL’s minor league is well-taken, but the facade of amateurism in college sports allows us the freedom to ignore the exploration, the cheating, the win-at-all-costs (copyright Urban Liar and THE Ohio State) and all there rest of it so we can enjoy our cocktails and root, root, root for our boys of fall across the South.

We’re all choosing to be blissfully ignorant because Saturday mean so much to so many of us.

College hoops, however, makes big-time college football look like the Cub Scouts.

There is way more money in college football, that’s for sure, but the passion involved everywhere at least offers a net of accountability as other schools and boosters keep a vague eye on each other. Yes the “Everyone’s doing it” is used in football too, but the ripple effects of cheating great least noticed.

In today’s college basketball realm, they are pretty much part of the plan because of the access of shoe money and AAU benefits.

Youth basketball is filled with corruption in a level that youth football has not reached. There are national 8- and 10-and-under basketball tournaments, and the coaches and parents of those stars already are getting paid (from sponsors and shoe companies) in accepted ways. Plus, when you see LeBron James at 10 you have a real good idea he’s going to be that at 20 too, so the “investments” start super young.

The best football player in the 10-year-old league may not make the high school team because of dramatic size changes.

It’s sad. And gross.

But it is what it is.

—

From Doug

You know nothing about football. Every time you mention Vic Beasley’s name I remember when you said he was going to be a bust. They need to give me your job on the radio, dumb (bleep).

Doug –

Not really sure if this was a question, but you had mailbag in the subject line, so here’s your chance to shine.

And, well, this was not the best week to put that out there.

—

From a ton of you knuckleheads

Great pick on the Falcons you jack(bleep). They suck.

Gang –

Not sure if you are talking about the pick earlier this week that the Falcons were going to the Super Bowl or my 30-24 score guess on Press Row.

Either way, we are not basking in the light of positivity for believing in these Falcons after last night.

There were a litany of issues, friends.

> Insert Steve Sarkisian criticism here. Yes, he fluctuated between rocky and rotten last year. And he’s certainly a focus of frustrated Falcons fans this fall. (Alliteration, it’s your friend.) But he was not really that bad last night. They – wisely – tried to force feed Julio Jones at every turn. Jones had 19 targets, one short of a career high. They pumped it to Jones in the red zone, too. It just did not work, but execution is not on the play-caller. Well, at least not in the moment. Still, that does not mean we are in Sark’s corner. Not in the least. More on that in a moment.

> Matt Ryan was dreadful. He was under 50 percent (21-of-43). He took four sacks. His red-zone interception would have been unacceptable for a rookie never mind a 10-year vet who is on a Hall of Fame trajectory. It’s hard to remember a good audible call. And maybe most alarming of all that, his arm strength looked rather iffy.

> Nick Foles still is Nick Foles. He will be on the Rushmore – with Larry Brown, Dexter Jackson and Malcolm Smith – on most forgettable Super Bowl MVPs of all time. At some point in time, the Eagles will regret not selling high on Nick Foles.

> Vic Beasley is a bust. Maybe that’s touch rough. He did get 15.5 sacks in 2016. It was a crazy year that will go down as an anomaly rather than the norm. Beasley was invisible and was powerless and useless against Lane Johnson. I spent significant time watching Beasley, who has been moved to the left side rather than the right end, where dominant pass rushers feast. He finished with one tackle – ONE – which is the same number that Jack Crawford had, and Jack Crawford was the FBI director in “Silence of the Lambs” people. And let’s remember that two picks after Beasley went eighth overall in the 2015 NFL draft, some dude named Todd Gurley was picked. The Falcons have already picked up the option on his contract for a fifth year in 2019 meaning that in a year in which they are going to have to answer some expensive defensive questions and contracts, Atlanta will be on the hook for $12.8 million in cap money to a guy that had one tackle Thursday and averages right at two total tackles per game. (Beasley has 76 solo tackles and 19 assists in 47 career games.)

> Keanu Neal is a baller. So is Deion Jones. Dan Quinn can coach a defense – even with a dead weight like Beasley providing very little off the edge – so this team will be in a place to compete.

> Neal left the game with a knee injury and did not return. Devonta Freeman also left with a knee injury.

Takeaways: We think Dan Quinn is a defensive stud, but the fundamental definition of a well-coached team is that their play and their production is better than its individual parts. That is true of a defense that has turned Neal and Jones and several productive corners and Tak McKinley into a fast and fierce group that will be among the league’s best. It’s decidedly false for a Falcons offense that has a projected Hall of Famer at quarterback, the most physically gifted wide out in a league that is designed to reward such beasts, a stable of complimentary weapons and a line that is no worse than good and could be compared with some of the best in the league.

That, more than the play-calling last night, is the ultimate failure for Sarkisian and the Falcons’ offensive braintrust.

And it looks like it could derail a team that has a ton of talent and a very high ceiling.

—

From Mike C.

Jay, heard what you said about Burt Reynolds and the rental car. I almost died – seriously from laughter and because I almost wrecked on 27.

Who makes your Rushmore of all-time “rental cars” in Hollywood? Does Burt make a run for a spot?

Thanks and keep up the great work. I love Press Row.

Mike C. –

Such an excellent question, and for those who missed that segment on Press Row, I mentioned that Burt Reynolds saw more tuckus than a rental car. He chased more tail than a confused cat with ADD. He had more ‘company’ than Warren Buffett. He ran more wool than Burlington Coat Factory. He, well, you got the idea.

We think Sinatra is far left on this one. Dude was handsome and dangerous and could sing the pedals off flowers.

We think Warren Beatty is there, too. Leonardo DiCaprio has crafted a high-quality resume in a relatively short period of time.

Since you asked about Hollywood, that leaves off the eye-popping dating histories of non-acting Casanovas like Hugh Hefner, Derek Jeter and John Mayer.

Reynolds is right there in contention for consideration – along with other well-known ladies men such as Charlie Sheen, Jack Nicholson – so let’s give him the final spot since we’re emotional about the passing of the Bandit. (And it’s certainly worthy since he was with Farrah Fawcett and Loni Anderson at the height of their powers.)

—

From the Dalai Lama (And no, not directly to me as much as on Twitter in general, but still thought it was worth adding)

“In our modern society everything seems geared to material development, even our systems of education. As a result we no longer pay sufficient attention to our inner values, which leads to mental unrest. In order to address this imbalance we need to pay more attention to our minds.”

Lama –

Well said my man. Also, Carl Spackler says hi, and we believe you owe him a little something for the effort.