If only LeBron James had gone to college.
Had that happened in the fall of 2003 instead of King James jumping directly to the NBA, then tonight’s self-important, one-hour, made-for-TV-ratings-and-Nike-coffers LeBronathon might have long been behind us.
Instead — assuming this grandly titled “Decision” follows a too-familiar script — we’ll be forced to endure 58 minutes of LeBron commercials, analysis and old-fashioned guesswork over where James might land next, the whole spectacle climaxing with a bunch of hats lined up on a table before the lifelong Cleveland Cavalier finally picks … who? … New York? … New Jersey? … Chicago? … Miami? … the Cavs? … oh, please … pick me … no, me … no, pretty please, MEEEE!
We’ve seen high schoolers follow this routine ad nauseum of late , but since James skipped that bit of the maturing process, we’re apparently going to watch his musical hats act get under way at 9 p.m.
Of course, it’s far from certain LeBron will be so pedestrian as to pick a ball cap off a table. Perhaps he’ll go with a Let’s-Make-A-Deal theme, selecting the franchise logo behind Door No. 2, rather than No.’s 1, 3, 4 or 5.