Fab 4 picks
Welp, you’ve heard of Even Steven, right?
How about Level Nevel or even Same Keel Neal? A Flat Line Ryne maybe, or if we are adding gender inclusivity, Same Plane Jane?
(Side note: Speaking of gender inclusivity, why do right-thinking Americans care that Minnie Mouse is mixing in pants suits? And that comes from the outrage-ists – yeah I made that word up but it seems fitting – to the thinkers at Disney. Because while Disney has smart folks huddled in a room to hatch Minnie’s wardrobe change for politically motivated reasons, they also refuse to discuss China’s long-standing human rights atrocities despite the $5.5 billion – yes, billion with a ‘B’ – invested in Shanghai Disney.)
(Side question on the side note: And if we’re going to get upset about Disney wardrobe matters, can someone put some pants on Donald Duck? Seriously, Donald’s Southside is naked as a jaybird.)
(Side question on the side question on the side note: Who came up with this ‘naked as a jaybird’ mumbo jumbo? Aren’t all animals rather nude, all things considered, so why focus on the jaybirds of the world?)
Anywell, where were we? Ah, yes, Even Steven. Sadly.
If you are hitting a baseball, .500 will get you into the Hall – unless you had whispers of performance-enhancing drug use and did not ask the local hall-voting beat writer how his kids were. If you are shooting a basketball from the perimeter, .500 will keep you in the league, regardless of the rest of your skillset.
Now, granted, some picks may lose on the final score but the theory and thought process ages like a fine wine. This, friends, is what I wrote this time a week ago about the Bills-Chiefs AFC Divisional game, and the pick missed, but the words are Nostradamian: “Buffalo plus-2 over Kansas City. Gang, make sure the spread is presented and the beverages iced, because the Divisional finale at 6:30 on Sunday night is gonna be a dandy. And while I’m now officially on Team Allen – hey, I’ve never been more wrong on a predraft QB projection in my life so let’s come full circle right – this one not only has the “Face of the League” feel in the Josh Allen vs. Patrick Mahomes conversation. It also has the look of what will be the league’s next decadelong rivalry between these Bills and those Chiefs.”
Still, it lost and so did I, and when all my non-bowl game picks – college 47-46 regular season, NFL playoffs 5-6 – are rolled together, it’s a today 52-52.
And that .500 mark in betting means you lose, even if it looks like you don’t, because Even Steven with juice and odds becomes Go Pay Jay really quickly.
And it can leave your bankroll naked – naked as turtle dove.
To the picks.
Chiefs minus-7 and over 54 against the Bengals. In arguably the biggest point swing in non-QB news ever, keep an eye on Tyrann Mathieu’s status for K.C. this week. If the all-star playmaker from LSU does not go, look for fellow all-star playmakers from LSU Ja’Mar Chase and Joe Burrow to exploit a gettable KC secondary. Seriously, if it becomes official one way or the other, I think Mathieu swings the over/under a couple of points potentially. But even if Patrick Mahomes has to win this one 48-40, I’m riding with that guy.
Rams minus-3.5 over the 49ers. The 49ers are a great story, and they have crafted a great roster. And the potential for clever newspaper editors to redraft one of the best headlines in recent sports history – when Chicago got to the Super Bowl in 2007, I think, there was a national publication that dropped the ever-genius, “Bears take Rex Grossman to the Super Bowl” as a testament to the roster’s depth and the quarterback’s ups and downs – with Jimmy G makes them more attractive. Still, this one feels like there is a certain destiny there for Matt Stafford, right? And can you really count on two monstrous special teams gaffes from another opponent? Side question: Anyone else utterly surprised by how big a dude Deebo Samuel, the former South Carolina receiver, has become in the NFL? Wow.
You know the numbers – 50%.
Sigh.
Wins – and a loss?
Nice win for the Mocs last night as they toyed with Wofford in a 71-60 victory. Here’s a recap from today’s TFP.
Nice win for those of us who may have placed a little entertainment venture on the Mocs minus-5.5. Side note: UTC laying single digits at home for the rest of this season will have my attention and be carrying my entertainment. Book that.
Nice win for causes, as UTC coach Lamont Paris participated in the “Shoes and Suits” fight against cancer, and his blue-and-gold Adidas were quite snazzy. Plus, Paris, an all-around good dude who has a surprisingly great Morgan Freeman impersonation, pledged to donate $1 for every fan in McKenzie last night to watch his team improve to 17-4 overall and 7-1 in the league. According to the ESPN game cast online, there were 3,211 folks there.
(Side note: Doing a fair amount of interweb searching this morning, I could not for the life of me find Lamont’s salary. Not in TFP archives, not in the AP short nor the UTC release about the extension Paris signed a few years ago. The only thing I saw with a number was a place called midmajormainess.com and that listed his salary at $250K and that was from 2019.
But it leads us to the elephant in the room: Will Lamont Paris be in the 423 next year? This is not to rain on the DougDyer parade or make UTCmocs kick his cat this morning.
UTC, for better or worse, will always be a feeding ground that requires ADs to be great talent scouts and adroit in hiring practices. You seldom want a coach who wants to be at Chattanooga forever. Please note I did not say never, I said seldom.
I think Rusty Wright could be a guy like that. I think Russ Huesman wishes he had decided to be a guy like that. Heck, I expected to be in Chattanooga two-plus years and move on to a bigger market. That was 20 years ago this May.
And Lamont is way better at his gig than I am at mine.
Paris is doing work and has crafted a roster that is not only tournament ready, they are ready to be tournament successful.
And that work and success frequently bring job offers with extra digits on them. Sure it depends on what becomes open this silly season and whether it fits Paris and he fits there. And there are far worse things than making several hundreds of thousands of dollars and coaching basketball in the Scenic City.
Will he stay or will he go? Heck, I’m not even sure The Clash know right now.
But he will have options. You can bet on that.
And now for a highlight
Wow, got wordy again today, huh? So it goes. There are a slew of heavy and controversial headlines out there, and the Disney hubbub is just the tip of the spear of division.
There’s the SCOTUS news and a clear fight on the horizon about the next court nominee.
There’s the news out of Florida that one school district will no longer accept COVID as an excused absence.
There was the news locally about a girl being repeatedly stabbed at East Hamilton, which is awful in every measure.
Even if your head’s on a swivel, it feels like everywhere you turn, the news is bad.
Well, enjoy this story.
It’s about a police officer arresting a DoorDash delivery driver and then finishing the food delivery before heading to the hoosegow.
War decency.
This and that
– Kudos to Luke List and Stephan Jaeger – Baylor School alums – for a fast start at Torrey Pines on Wednesday. Yes, the tournament started on Wednesday this week.
– With all apologies to the Hogs in Fayetteville, this UT basketball team certainly has earned a similar name. Let’s call them Pigs, because when games turn ugly, this team is at its best. Wednesday evening – the 6 p.m. start was nice for those of us who had later hoops practices – the Vols had more turnovers than a heavy-set Dutch lad with an incurable sweet tooth and still found a way to win. And you know the saying about wrestling’ with a Pig in the mud – you’re both gonna get dirty but the pig likes it. Here’s more from Paschall.
– Forecasts are calling for ‘significant’ snowfall for the Northeast. What’s “significant” translate to these days? And can I call my entertainment broker and say, “I’ll take the Chiefs by a significant amount” because if they win by 1 or by 100, both are significant in the grand scheme of things, right?
Today’s questions
Mailbag is getting full. Got a spot or two if you have a question.
Wide open Thursday starts here: Is Lamont in Chattanooga next year?
Also, should golf consider a different schedule for normal events that start on a Tuesday or a Wednesday to maximize their focus, especially on the West Coast when they are playing well into prime time in the East?
As for today, Jan. 27, let’s review.
The first college basketball game was today in 1894 as Chicago beat Chicago YMCA 19-11. Spy, how was the officiating in that game?
Andre the Giant died on this day in 1993.
The PG movie rating was hatched on this day in 1970. Side question: Do you know – without looking it up – the first PG-13 movie in theaters? Answer at the bottom.
Also, “Heartbreak Hotel” – which became Elvis’ first million-selling record – was released on this day in 1956.
Rushmore of “Hotel” in song and movie titles. Go.
First PG-13 to hit the theaters – “Red Dawn.”
Enjoy the day.