Lisa Denton and Barry Courter
LISA DENTON: You know, Barry, it’s probably a good thing I have a wedding to go to next Saturday because I think I might wear myself out trying to keep up with all the Valentine’s Day events going on around town.
Gene Hodge is doing his Elvis Valentine Show at Barking Legs Theater. Rick Rushing & the Blues Strangers are performing at a dinner at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center.
And there’s a Bleeding Heart Ball at Heritage House, which is different, for sure. It’ll be set up like a New Orleans-style funeral. You don’t have to wear costumes, but the folks throwing the party are hoping people will wear steampunk, Victorian or Goth garb, and there’s a prize for the best attire. I might have to break out my Elvira dress. Not “oom poppa mow mow” Elvira; I’m talking Mistress of the Dark Elvira.
BARRY COURTER: Yeah, don’t think they are looking for Oak Ridge Boys-type get-ups, though you could probably get away with a long gray wig, a la William Lee Golden, but the beard might scare people.
My people will get on me if I don’t mention that Chatti Gras is Saturday night, as well. It’s a fundraiser for area Catholic schools, but everyone is welcome. Catholics know how to throw a party, and this is a fun event with music, auctions, casino games and a Cajun buffet.
LISA: If they can combine Mardi Gras and Valentine’s Day, they do know how to throw a party.
There’s plenty more stuff going on other days, too, including two events that get down to the nitty-gritty of courtship. And I’m not talking about the film release of “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
On Friday, you can go to Wild at Heart, a Cocktails for Conservation event at Chattanooga Zoo. On Sunday, the River Gorge Explorer will take a sunset cruise through the Tennessee River Gorge. Both events will include details of the mating rituals of the animals you’re likely to see, though I’m not sure how “on cue” the animals might be. I guess if you want a guarantee of seeing such things, we’re back to “Fifty Shades of Grey.”
BARRY: Barry White music always works for me. Maybe they should screen the movie at the zoo, though I’m not sure all of the animals are old enough to watch. By the way, I understand the Motion Picture Association of America gave “Fifty Shades” an R rating in part for “unusual behavior.” I have to confess that I wasn’t too interested in seeing it, but now I have to just to see what that means.
Also on tap, the Chattanooga Symphony & Opera is again doing “Big Band Fever” at the Tivoli Theater on Friday and Saturday. It’s a fun evening of music and dancing. Yep, they dance right there on the stage next to the orchestra.
LISA: Of course, you can always choose a standby like The Comedy Catch. Michael Mack is there this weekend.
Did I ever tell you about the time I was there on Valentine’s Day and the headliner — I forget her name — came out and asked, “Anybody here in love?” I thought, man, how funny would it be if one in a couple still in the getting-to-know-you phase were to give a loud “Whoooo!!!!” in response, just to see their companion’s deer-in-headlights look.
I still regret that I didn’t do it, but it was just too far to walk home.
BARRY: That’s funny. It’s kind of the opposite of when I once asked a girl on a first date what her sign was. She said, “Stop.” I did. Went right home, actually.
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Contact Lisa Denton at ldenton@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6281. Contact Barry Courter at bcourter@timesfreepress.com or 423-757-6354.