So the other day I was taking a break after my daily workout. Wearing yoga pants and my favorite “Recycle the Dolphins” T-shirt, I was browsing through the local paper while having a cup of nonfat plain yogurt. Just as I was about to turn to the comics, an article about yet another scientific study caught my eye.
It seems a group of eminent psychologists, under the direction of esteemed psychiatrist Dr. Robert Joseph Clapper, have completed a yearlong study and discovered several differences between men and women. (I know, I thought the same thing; I had to go back and read that line again.) According to the article, one of the biggest differences between men and women found in the study led by Dr. Clapper is they shop differently. You know, like at the mall, Christmas shopping.
I was a bit taken back. I thought everybody – at least all hunters and fishermen – knew men and women do not shop the same. These differences all stem from many moons ago, when our ancestors were living a nomadic life and their survival depended on hunting and being able to knock over an occasional Irish elk or woolly mammoth.
The men were out every day hunting, or at least acting like they were hunting so they could get away from the women for a while. The women stayed in camp, tended the fires, picked a few berries and complained to each other about the men. So it’s easy to see how in modern times when men go out to look for something, they go directly to the source, get the item they want and go home. They’re tired of being on the trail all the time.
Women are influenced by their ancestors who grew tired of hanging around the campsite all day, watching the fire and scraping mammoth hides. When they get a chance to get out in the wide world and shop, they are going to make a day of it and make it count.
So you are asking yourself once again, “What does any of this to have to do with an outdoors column?” Glad you asked, because your intrepid outdoors writer (me) is at your service to help you during this stressful shopping season.
You ladies out there are once again faced with wandering in the labyrinth of hunting supplies, trying to figure out what to get for husbands, sons, dads and uncles. For the guys out there, if a lady in your life hunts, you want to know where to go get it and be done.
Here are some of my picks for smiles under the tree this year:
– CZ-USA Upland Ultralight Shotgun. You knew I could not do this list without adding a shotgun, so here goes. The Upland Ultralight (cz-usa.com) is a well-made over-and-under shotgun, and the 12-gauge model weighs six pounds – that’s right, six pounds. Longtime readers can refer to Case’s Shotgun Theorem No. 4: “You do a whole lot more carrying a shotgun than you do shooting it.” Any bird hunter will tell you a lightweight shotgun is a blessing. New for this year is the CZ Upland Ultralight Green – green on the receiver really sets this gun off, and it is pretty. As always, the price tag on CZ-USA guns is what really makes you take a second look. You will not find a comparable over-and-under anywhere near this one’s suggested retail price of $762.
– Seth McGinn’s Can Cooker. This cooker (cancooker.com) is a slam-dunk gift for anyone, man or woman. Based on an old tradition of cowboys cooking in a cream can on cattle drives, McGinn improved on that idea and gave us the best camp cooking tool since the iron skillet. In short, all you do is throw your goodies in the Can Cooker – ribs, chicken, sausage, veggies, whatever – put in your favorite herbs and spices (the Can Cooker comes with its own line of wonderful seasonings) throw the cooker on the fire, stove or any heat source, then sit back and listen to your buddies tell more lies. You will not believe how tasty everything is that comes out of the Can Cooker, makes cooking quick and easy at home or on the trail.
– Sleeping Indian Fine Wool Apparel. Are you tired of being cold? I am, and if I am going to be out in really cold weather, I vowed I was going to find something to wear and not be miserable. Sleeping Indian (sleepingindianusa.com) has been around for many years, and if you check with some of your die-hard hunting buds, I bet you are going to find a few who know about Sleeping Indian Wool clothes. Let’s think about some of the advantages of wearing wool: it’s a natural insulator; it’s breathable; it’s water-, mildew- and odor-resistant; it’s nearly indestructible. This stuff lasts forever – just ask someone who wears Sleeping Indian how long they have had their gear. If you are tired of being cold, check out Sleeping Indian. Did you ever see a cold sheep?
Ok, I may have fibbed a little in that opening paragraph. Well, actually the whole thing was an outright lie.
The thought of me in yoga pants would ruin anyone’s Christmas.
“The Trail Less Traveled” is written by Larry Case, who lives in Fayette County, W.Va. You can write to him at larryocase3@gmail.com.