Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: I became estranged from my family after I came out as gay. I am OK with it. But besides having no family, I have no friends. I always had difficulty making friends. I’m an introvert and was bullied at school, so I found it more comfortable just hanging out at home by myself. I have come to accept the absence of friends as my reality. I try to do fun things by myself, like seeing movies and eating out, but the holidays are hard to bear. I dread this time of year. It only makes me more aware of how lonely I am. I am too embarrassed to go out by myself during the holidays because most people are out with family and friends. Can you suggest some things I could do instead of watching TV by myself? – HOLIDAY HURTING
DEAR HOLIDAY HURTING: I may be able to solve two of your problems at the same time. Call some of the charitable organizations in your area and ask if they can use an extra pair of hands during the holiday season. Serving food at a homeless shelter or food pantry and delivering meals to shut-ins come to mind.
A sure cure for the blues is to reach out and do something for someone who needs a helping hand. If you try it, you may meet like-minded people and start some friendships.
DEAR ABBY: My wife of 37 years is a perfectionist. I am not. Her father used to call her “Little Miss Perfect.” I try to help around the house, but she always comes afterward to “correct” my mistakes and make things “perfect.” I am not sloppy about my work – just not up to her standards.
Two examples: I make the bed; she remakes it. I can’t even mow the grass correctly because she likes diagonal cuttings and I cut parallel to the street. After one day, there’s no difference. As a result, I have given up helping.