Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: One of my siblings dropped out of college, had a bad breakup with a married man and has given up all hope and efforts to live a normal life. She’s 34, refuses to work and still lives with our parents. She walks around the house talking to herself, which I believe is for attention. I’ve tried to be a sympathetic ear and encourage her to find a job, but it’s not working.
What can we do to help her get a job and move? She’s a burden on our family, and it’s depressing to have her present for family events. What can be done for an adult who refuses to grow up and move on? – HOPELESS IN GEORGIA
DEAR HOPELESS: I have another idea why your sister walks around the house talking to herself and can’t motivate herself to be independent. She may be severely depressed or suffering from other mental problems. Talk to your parents and tell them they are not helping her by ignoring the fact that she isn’t functional. They need to insist that, as a condition of staying with them, she talk to a mental health professional.
DEAR ABBY: Every summer, my husband and I, our two boys and my parents would take several vacations at Mom and Dad’s lake home. This is where Dad grew up and where we spent countless vacations as children. It holds much sentimental value to us all. We were lucky enough to have our own space upstairs and were free to enjoy the home as if it was ours. We always contributed to groceries and cleaning before we left, and it was very enjoyable for everyone.
My mother passed away last year after a long battle with a debilitating disease. Dad is planning to retire soon and move permanently to the lake home, which is about seven hours away. However, he has found a girlfriend he has become close to, and upon retiring, he plans to have her move in with him.