Jeanne PhillipsDEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old woman, and I know I should have a lot more patience than I do right now. I’m happily married with two beautiful children. After work when I return home, I’m fine for the first hour or so. But if my children start to get loud or keep asking me to do something, I get extremely aggravated.
My children are young and I love them, but I should be in more control of my temper toward them. I feel so bad when I lose it and shout at them. What can I do to improve this? – SHORT FUSE IN GEORGIA
DEAR SHORT FUSE: I’m glad you asked, because it is important that you learn to relieve your frustration without taking it out on your children. There are healthy ways of managing frustration without exploding.
The first is to recognize that you are becoming upset. Leave the room and, if your husband is home, go for a walk or a short run to help you to regain your perspective. Another technique is to “stall” before reacting. Pause for a moment and say a prayer, “Please Lord, don’t let me lose my temper!” before opening your mouth. It’s important that you get a handle on your temper so your children won’t grow up thinking that verbal abuse is a normal way to handle their own emotions.
DEAR ABBY: My 25-year-old daughter suffers from Peter Pan Syndrome. Three years out of college, she wants to live an “extended dorm” lifestyle with other young men/women and their girlfriends/boyfriends, instead of settling down and moving out with her boyfriend of two years.